When Quests go Bad
by SpaceRoses
Summary: In a country far away Himura Kenshin and his friends are the only hope to save a kingdom from the evil King Shishio. But even they couldn't predict just how wrong this quest would go. An incredibly twisted AU fairy tale
1. Chapter 1: A simple Quest, if you don't

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Not Rurouni Kenshin and none of the fairy tales that I'm spoofing.

**Author's Note: **This is a parody and a spoof of the different arcs of Rurouni Kenshin and practically every fairy tale and fairy tale element that has ever been created that I've found. There is the possibility for major OOCness but I've tried to keep the basics of the characters intact.

I've kept all of the canon pairings plus I've paired a few of the side characters together. I've also ignored some of the different character deaths that happened in the show so some characters that were dead are alive again, at least for this story.

Please do not take this as a serious story, it's meant to be weird. Read and review if you like but Flames will be ignored. Thank You!

**Chapter 1: A Simple Quest, if you don't get Lost **

_Once upon a time in a land far distant from here there was a happy, prosperous kingdom lead by a good king named Okubo. But the country's neighbor was a bad land led by an evil king named Shishio. He wanted to take the small country over and twist it to his evil plans. Now the good king Okubo turned to his country's last hope in stopping King Shishio's evil plan..._

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"But I'm just a wandering performer that I am." Surprised violet eyes met the dark brown ones of the man who sat in front of the performer.

"That's exactly why I'm asking you to do this Himura-san. Shishio won't expect you to be any threat. And with your history you'd be perfect. Please do this for this country."

The performer, Himura Kenshin, frowned, "I don't know. I gave that life up long ago and I don't think I'll be very helpful."

"Please Himura-san, I begging you. If you don't do something this country will be taken over. You're our last and only hope."

"Well…if you put it that way King Okubo I guess so." Kenshin replied, still uneasy.

"Thank you Himura-san, you'll be rewarded generously should you succeed."

"And if you fail you'll be dead Kenshin." Both men turned to face the younger man leaning against the wall.

"Really Sano, I don't think I'll fail." Kenshin replied, looking at his friend and sometimes partner Sagara Sanosuke before turning his attention back to Okubo, "I'll leave this afternoon but before I go can you give me directions to Shishio's palace?"

Okubo nodded and an aide of his stepped forward with several packages, "Here are some directions and supplies for your journey."

"Our journey," Sano corrected as he came to stand by his friend.

"Oro?" Kenshin questioned, his eyes growing wider.

"Hey, I'm not going to let you get killed alone…besides it sounds like it could be a fun fight."

"'Fun' is hardly the word I'd use to describe this situation!" The aide bristled but Okubo held up his hand, "Very well but just remember the fate of this country rests on your shoulders. Farwell and may you succeed in your quest." Okubo bowed and left, followed by his aide.

"Do you think they'll succeed Okubo-sama?" the aide asked.

"We can only hope. However they both seem like brave and intelligent men so I'm sure they'll be fine."

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"Kenshin! Are you sure we're going in the right direction?" Sano yelled at his friend as he pushed another tree branch away.

Kenshin was standing in a small clearing ahead of Sano, holding a map with one hand and scratching his head with the other, "Funny, this map says that a road should be right here but all I see is a stream."

"I have news for you Kenshin; your map is upside down." Sano grabbed the map and turned it in the right direction before studying it. "The road you're looking for is behind us and it's also the road we got off of a few hours ago. We should probably keep going straight, there's some kind of squiggly line not too far ahead."

"Some squiggly line?" It was Kenshin's turn to look unimpressed.

Sano was going to respond but stopped and turned his head to one side, listening, "Hey Kenshin, did you just hear something?"

Kenshin was going to shake his head when the sound came again, distant but distinct. The sound of voices arguing and one voice seemed quite young. "We should go see what's wrong." Kenshin suggested, figuring the hilt of the sakabatou that hung at his waist.

Sano nodded his agreement and both men headed in the general direction of the voices. Suddenly they stumbled into another clearing occupied by a tall wolfish man and a young boy who both turned to look at them.

Kenshin smiled brightly, "Excuse me gentleman is something wrong here?"

The tall man was going to answer when the boy piped up, "No! Everything's just fine and I don't need your help!"

Sano had been eyeing the katana at the older man's waist and decided to break in, "Look I don't know what's going on here but a little kid with a stick isn't any match against a katana so why don't you just tell us what's going on?"

The boy's eyes practically bugged out of his head as he grabbed the stick that was strapped onto his back and waved it at Sanosuke, "I'm not a little kid and this isn't a stick, it's a shinia. I'm Myojin Yahiko, student of the Kamiya Kasshin style of swordsmanship."

"I was right; you are involved with that girl." The other three turned to face the tall man who was now contently smoking a cigarette.

"Excuse me san, we know what Yahiko's name is but you haven't introduced yourself." Kenshin said, continuing to smile.

"Saitou Hajime." Saitou blew a stream of smoke in the general direction of Kenshin.

"'Big bad wolf' is more like it." Yahiko grumbled under his breath and Kenshin looked towards him, "You said you were an apprentice in swordsmanship but I don't recognize the style. Could you please tell me who your master is?"

"Kamiya Kaoru. Assistant master actually, having taken over the teaching of the style after her father's…untimely death several years ago." Saitou spoke suddenly, continuing to smoke his cigarette. "I might also add that she and her family were involved in a local disturbance in which a man claiming to be the Hitokiri Battousai had used her style to murder people in a near by village."

"How awful!" Kenshin exclaimed but Saitou wasn't done speaking yet, "I have since then captured the perpetrator of the crimes and I merely need to capture his accomplices now. So if you'll leave me to my work?" he suggested as he finished his cigarette.

"Wait, you're telling me that this kid's an accomplice?" Sano glared at Saitou, his already causal dislike of the man increasing.

"Possibly, and I'm also trying to establish why he is alone in this forest, this late in the day." Saitou responded.

Kenshin blinked suddenly, "That is true, what are you doing out here alone?" he asked, looking towards Yahiko.

Yahiko put his shinia away, "My sensei got sick after staying out all night so I had to get her some medicine. I told her not to go digging through those garbage cans but did she listen? No, don't listen to the kid, what does he know?" Yahiko grumbled, ignoring the strange looks that Kenshin and Sano gave him.

"Digging through garbage cans?" Sano mouthed and Kenshin nodded back, "They must be very poor, that they must."

Yahiko stopped rambling and looked around, "Wait, where'd the wolf go?" he demanded.

Kenshin and Sano also looked around, but Saitou was gone, the only proof of his existence being the cigarettes butt that lay on the ground. "He just…disappeared." Sano whispered.

Yahiko sighed, "Aw well, I got to get going."

He started to walk away but Kenshin grabbed his arm, "We'll go with you, just to make sure you get home safely. It's the least we can do and it's not out of our way, right Sano?"

Sano had been looking at the map but his head snapped up at the sound of his name, "Uh…right."

Yahiko shrugged, "Suit yourself but it's nothing great, just a run down dojo. Also don't eat Kaoru's cooking, it's been known to stop a termite infestation."

Sano and Kenshin exchanged looks again, "We'll keep that in mind that we will." Kenshin said with a smile, "Please lead on."

Yahiko started walking, "I should warn you, Kaoru got a little spell laid on her and it makes her act kinda weird sometimes."

Sano shrugged, "It can't be that bad."

Yahiko grunted but stayed silent for the rest of the walk. After a good fifteen minutes he stopped in front a worn down gate and opened it, "Welcome to the Kamiya Kasshin dojo."

_Translations: _

_San: A title equaling "Mister," "Ma'am", or "Miss" _

_Oro: an exclamation of surprise often used by Kenshin_

_Sama: A title equaling "Lord" or "Sire" _


	2. Chapter 2: One way by Night, Another by

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except for my very brief mention of Shima who's my OC for a different story.

**Author's Note: **Okay, chapter one was pretty tame but each chapter will hopefully become more insane. Read and Review if you like but Flames will be ignored. Thanks!

**Chapter 2: One way by night, another by day**

Kenshin and Sano entered the dojo and looked around warily. Unexpectedly a woman's scream rang from the house and the threesome ran inside, prepared to face whatever foe might have attacked the poor woman.

"Hajime I have had it with this! Kaoru was not nor is involved with that false Battousia mess and if I ever catch you trying to sneak in here again…" The woman's voice trailed off as she caught sight of her guests. "Ah Yahiko-kun, thank goodness you got back, Kaoru has gotten worse and I can't get her to wake up!"

"Have you talked to the doctor?" Yahiko asked as he handed a small bundle to the woman. "Yes but all he could tell me was that only the kiss of her true love would wake her at this point. You wouldn't happen to know who that is would you?" the woman asked, opening the bundle.

Yahiko shook his head, "Nope. Not a clue Tokio-san."

Tokio sighed, "It was a long shot anyways. But maybe the tea I can make from these leaves will help her." She disappeared into the kitchens leaving a slightly ruffled looking Saitou behind.

Also in the corner lay a futon. And the girl that laid on it was unlike any Kenshin had ever seen. Yahiko caught Kenshin looking, "And that's Kaoru you're staring at."

Kenshin blushed deeply, "I'm sorry that I am," he stammered.

Yahiko just smirked, "Maybe she's your true love."

"I think not." Kenshin looked even more embarrassed now.

"Tokio did mention something about the 'kiss of true love'. Maybe one of you should test her theory." Saitou suggested as he dug into his pocket looking for a cigarette.

"After you." Sano gestured towards Kaoru.

"I can't, I'm married." Saitou ignored the stares and continued his search.

"Maybe you should try it Yahiko, you've know her the longest that you have." Kenshin suggested but Yahiko stepped back, "M-me? K-kiss busu?" he gasped, looking ill.

"I heard that Yahiko-chan!" The girl, who had been lying quietly on the futon suddenly sat up, reaching for the boken that lay by the bed. "I'll have you know I'm one of the most beautiful girls in the village!"

"Don't call me 'chan' and if you're the most beautiful then our village most have some pretty ugly girls in it!" Yahiko yelled back, once again reaching for his weapon.

Kaoru moved first and began to beat Yahiko over the head with her boken, "You should have respect for your teacher!" Kaoru punctuated her words with a strong whap.

"Well it appears Kaoru-dono is fine, that she is." Kenshin rubbed the back of his head with a bemused grin on his face.

Kaoru suddenly let off hitting Yahiko as the unfamiliar voice registered into her mind, "Who are you guys?" she yelled, now brandishing her boken at Kenshin.

Kenshin gulped but before he could answer her question Tokio walked back in, "Kaoru you're awake. Which man kissed you?"

Kaoru's mouth dropped open, "K-kissed me? One of these weird guys kissed me?"

"No one…" Kenshin began to explain but Kaoru cut him off, "You're all a bunch of perverts, kissing poor unconscious girls! Get out of my house!"

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It wasn't till the next morning after dawn that Yahiko managed to negotiate their way back into the house. Multiple times the night before Kenshin and Sano had tried to leave but Saitou and Yahiko always dragged them back, claiming they weren't going to take Kaoru's blame alone and that it was technically Kenshin's fault because he had to make sure Yahiko got home safely.

Finally Kaoru let them back inside, her sour mood from the night before lifted, but only partially. "I think I deserve an explanation as to why all of you where in my house." She said coolly, looking at Kenshin.

The others looked at Kenshin too and he felt himself begin to grow nervous, "It's a long story that it is but Sano and I were sent on a mission by Okubo-sama to defeat Shishio and we got lost in the forest. Then we met Yahiko-kun and Saitou-san. Saitou-san explained what had befallen your dojo before he disappeared and Sano and I decided to make sure Yahiko-kun got back here safely. Then one thing led to another until we found ourselves in that most embarrassing situation for which I humbly apologize for. I had no desire to make you uncomfortable that I did not."

The room fell silent as Kenshin finished his story. Finally Saitou spoke, "You're fighting Shishio?" At Kenshin's nod he continued, "Then I'm going with you."

"Wha?" Sano yelled at the thought of Saitou joining them. He'd been looking forward to getting rid of this guy!

"I said I'm going with you. I happen to have reasons for wanting Shishio killed, the main one being that I cannot abide the thought of anyone as evil as him being allowed to live for long. I would like him to meet my own brand of justice. Aku. Soku. Zan."

"If you're going Hajime then I'm coming too. I'm not staying home anymore, happily raising our kids."

"If you go who'll watch them though?" Saitou asked, giving the air of a man who desperately wanted to get away.

"Don't worry, Shima's watching them." Tokio waved a dismissing hand and before Saitou could protest Kaoru had jumped in, "I'm going too!"

"Who said anything about anyone coming?" Kenshin asked, staring at Kaoru in confusion.

"I have to go. Shishio killed my father." Kaoru spoke fiercely but Sano just groaned, "Guess what Jou-chan, there isn't a person in this country that Shishio hasn't killed a friend or relative of."

"Oh." Kaoru's blue eyes blinked a few times in surprise.

Kenshin stood up with a defeated sigh, "If we're going to be going anywhere we need to leave now."

"I'm ready." Kaoru confidently grabbed her boken which had been moved to a rack on the wall. "Yahiko take care of the dojo while I'm gone."

"No way, I'm going too!" Yahiko yelled, "No you're not, you aren't ready yet." Kaoru countered but Yahiko wasn't done arguing yet, "Then neither are you. I'm almost as good as you are busu."

"You like to think you are but I'm still your teacher and what I say goes."

"No way," Yahiko shouted.

"Yes way," Kaoru countered.

The two argued back and forth for a good five minutes before Kenshin's patience wore thin, "Either you both stay or you both go but we're leaving now!"

Kaoru and Yahiko both stopped arguing instantly.

"Now may we go?" Saitou asked calmly.

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By early afternoon Sano was beginning to doubt Kenshin's sanity. What had convinced him to allow Saitou, Tokio, Kaoru and Yahiko to tag along? He could grudgingly see the logic behind Saitou's joining the group but the other three? What help could they bring?

Kenshin was in the front walking between Kaoru and Yahiko, trying to calm them both down when he stopped suddenly listening. Kaoru and Yahiko paused wondering what he had heard. The answer soon became apparent.

Kenshin placed his hand over the hilt of his sword, his moment mimicked by Saitou. Something rustled on the path ahead of them and Kenshin began to draw his sword.

Then from around a bend in the trail came two little girls who were causally taking ohagi from a bowl and dropping it behind them. They stopped and looked quizzically at Kenshin's group. Then they saw Saitou and screamed loudly, fear plain on their faces.

Saitou sheathed his sword with an air of disgust, "What is it about me that always frightens children?" he asked no one in particular.

"Ayame, Suzume calm down, these are my friends." Kaoru stepped towards the girls and they both left off of screaming to run to her and bury their faces in her skirt. "Scary man aunty Kaoru." The older one, Ayame got out, echoed by Suzume, "Scary man!"

"It's okay, he won't hurt you." Kaoru reassured before looking at them, "But why are you out here and where is your grandfather?"

Ayame's bottom lip began to quiver, "We don't know. We all went for a walk and he asked us to wait in a clearing while he went to go do something and then he didn't come back."

Kenshin frowned and stepped forward, "Kaoru-dono do you know these children?"

Kaoru nodded, "Ayame and Suzume are the granddaughters of the village doctor." She lowered her voice and whispered into Kenshin's ear, "I don't think he forgot them on purpose, he's a little old and sometimes forgetful." Kenshin nodded his understanding, "Why don't we take them back to the village? We need to go through there anyways to reach the main road again."

Kaoru liked that idea, "Don't worry Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan, we'll take you home." Ayame peeked up from where she had hidden her face, "Really?" she whispered.

"Yep."

The little group started out again with two new members and Sano's now very firm conviction that his friend had lost it. "If w get on any more 'side quests' we'll never complete the quest we were sent on."

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Having to travel with two small children had cut their travel speed in half and they had finally had to make camp in yet another tiny clearing in the forest.

Sano leaned back against a tree and surveyed the camp through partially closed eyes. Yahiko and the little girls had already fallen asleep, Saitou and Tokio where sitting apart from the others arguing in a low voice about something called "marriage counseling", Kenshin had gone out to make sure that the surrounding forests were safe, insisting that Sano stay behind and keep an eye on the kids.

Someone was missing. Sano began to panic slightly until he realized that Kaoru had disappeared. His worry fading Sano mentally shrugged, Kaoru probably went off to find Kenshin. Sano may have been dense were women were concerned but even he could see that Kaoru really liked the red head. With a sigh he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep.

Something pulled on the leg of his pants and he opened one eye, then both. A raccoon was sitting next to him with something colorful on its head. "What the!" Sano yelled, earning a glare from Saitou. "Why is a raccoon wearing Jou-chan's hair ribbon?" he demanded. The raccoon began to make a chattering noise but Sano wasn't done yet, "I've heard that raccoons like to steal things but this is unbelievable!"

"No! Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen!" Kaoru's voice came from the raccoon as it jumped onto Sano's chest to look him in the eye.

Sano glanced around uncomfortably, the raccoon's…Kaoru's…the thing on his chest's yells had woken up the kids, caused Saitou and Tokio to both come over, an expression of concern and some amusement evident on the latter's face and Kenshin had come running into the clearing, his sword in his hand. "Okay I'm listening." Sano nodded his head.

"Yahiko, you didn't explain this to them?" Kaoru demanded, her head turning to eye her apprentice. "Hey, don't blame me! I told 'em you were cursed but they didn't listen!" Yahiko grimaced as he anticipated a boken to his skull, until he remembered that a boken was bigger then his sensei at the moment.

"So…Kaoru-dono, is that you in this raccoon's body?" Kenshin asked, as he sheathed his sword.

"Yes it is." Kaoru sounded annoyed. "And you've always been like this?" Kenshin asked, tactfully feeling his way into the topic.

"No. It was only a few years ago. It's a curse, not a defect!"

"Oh." Kenshin frowned but Saitou spoke first, "Wonderful. Now not only are we stuck with two children but one of them is cursed to be a raccoon. And you still think it was wise to bring them along Himura?"

Tokio's slightly amused expression changed to one of anger, "It's not Kaoru's fault that she has this curse laid on her. If she could change herself back into a human then she would. But she can't! You should be more sensitive!"

"I'm not sensitive. I'm the Wolf of Mibu; the Wolf of Mibu is not a sensitive individual." Saitou argued.

"You should calm down that you should." Kenshin advised before looking back at Kaoru, "Is there no way for you to turn back?" he asked but Kaoru waved her head from side to side, "No. I'm only a raccoon during the night, during the day I'm human. It's not so bad really, being turned into a raccoon…except that I get these incredible urges to dig through people's garbage. That was what I was doing before I got sick. But then again, digging in garbage cans isn't too bad either, 'cause sometimes I find really neat stuff."

Kenshin nodded as several puzzle pieces fell into place, "Ah that makes sense." He spoke as Yahiko's comment ran through his head.

"Can't you become human again Aunty Kaoru?" Ayame asked as she crept forward to carefully touch the raccoon's back. "Yes, tomorrow morning I'll be back to normal, you'll see."

Ayame shook her head, "No, I mean really human. So that you don't change anymore."

"Well…" Kaoru looked towards Tokio for help and the older woman jumped in with an explanation, "The curse was laid upon her right after her father was killed. There are only two ways for her to break it. The first is to have her true love kiss her, but as we know true loves are hard to find these days. The second is slightly easier; simply defeat the person that laid the curse on her, in this case that would be Komagata Yumi."

"Komagata Yumi," Kenshin spoke in a whisper, "The consort of Shishio himself!"

Sano was getting tired of Kaoru on his chest, "That's very interesting but what do we do about Kaoru right now?"

Kenshin scratched his head, "I don't know that I don't. We could just try to sleep and in the morning Kaoru-dono will be fine and by late tomorrow morning we should have reached the village and Ayame and Suzume can go home were they will be safe."

The others agreed and they all found comfortable spots on the ground but Kenshin stayed awake later then the others as he watched Kaoru, 'Even in the midst of her own troubles she tried to comfort Ayame. She's a very brave girl.' Kenshin decided.


	3. Chapter 3: To save a beautiful

**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing.

**Author's Note: **I want to give a big Thank You to all of my reviewers! You guys are great! Thank you! Its fun to write fan-fiction but it's even more fun to know that people like it!

**Chapter 3: To rescue a beautiful…princess!**

True to Kenshin's word, late the next morning the group found themselves standing outside of a clinic in the village.

"Doctor Genzai, are you in there?" Kaoru, now safely in her human body, shouted loudly while she pounded on the clinic door.

An elderly man opened the door, "Ah, Kaoru-chan. What brings you here?"

Ayame pushed herself past Kaoru, followed by Suzume, "You forgot us again Grandpa," she pouted, echoed by Suzume, "Forgot us."

Doctor Genzai scratched the back of his head, "Eh…Knew I was forgetting something, the house did seem awful quite last night."

"Did you concoct that tea you were going to create for your memory?" Kaoru asked.

Genzai frowned, "I believe I forgot that too."

Kaoru shot Kenshin a "What did I tell you" look before turning back to the doctor, "Now that we know the girls are here safely we'll take our leave."

Ayame had been whispering to her grandfather and he looked towards the group, "My granddaughters ask that you stay for lunch. It's the least thanks I can offer you for getting them home safely."

Kenshin didn't want to accept, accepting could put these people into unnecessary danger, but Kaoru had already accepted.

'Why do we always end up wasting time we don't have?' Kenshin wondered as he thought of the travel time they had already lost. If it had just been Sano and he they would be very close to Shishio's kingdom by now.

However there was nothing he could do but accept the hospitality kindly. After all, it might be nice to actually eat a real meal, instead of their travel supplies for a change, Kenshin reasoned with his conscience.

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The meal did not last long and a little while later the group was back onto the streets, trying to leave the village as quickly and as quietly as they could.

That was when the screaming started.

"Help! Help me!" A man's voice rang out over the crowded marketplace and Kenshin's head snapped up. Without a word to the others Kenshin began to move through the crowds towards the man.

"Hey Kenshin, where are you going?" Sano yelled but the red head didn't look back. "We'd better catch up." Kaoru began to push after Kenshin with Yahiko on her heels and reluctantly the others had to follow.

Kenshin had reached the man who was yelling, "What is wrong san? Can I help you in some way?"

The man saw the sword hanging at Kenshin's belt and grasped his hand, "Yes! You, with your sword can help me!"

"Please tell me what is wrong." Kenshin urged.

"My daughter has been taken captive by a terrible dragon that lives in the hills surrounding this village. She is my only child and I fear greatly for her safety. Please save her."

"I'll do my best that I will to return your daughter safely." Kenshin assured the man.

"Alright Himura, what kind of idiotic quest have you decided to take on now?" Saitou's gravelly voice sounded from behind Kenshin and he spun around, "It isn't an idiotic quest that it isn't. This man's only child was taken captive by a dragon and he asked me to help her. I can't refuse him that I most certainly can't."

"Then we're going with you! We are the Kenshin-gumi aren't we?" Yahiko popped up at Kenshin's side, causing him to jump slightly.

"'Kenshin-gumi'? Who said anything about us being friends?" Saitou asked, as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"Though you must admit that it does have a nice ring to it," Kaoru said with a dreamy expression in her eyes.

"Enough of this. If we're going to save this girl we might as well get on with it so as to get done sooner. But Kenshin if you pick up anymore side quests…" Sano's voice trailed off but he shot his friend a warning look.

Kenshin quickly got directions from the distraught man, who thanked the group and promised to never forget this great kindness and if there was anything he could do…basically, the man groveled.

"I really think that Kaoru-dono, Tokio-dono and Yahiko-kun should stay behind at the clinic that they should." Kenshin knew his idea would not go over good by the angry looks on the faces in question.

"When I said I was coming with Hajime, I meant every step of the way." Tokio shot Kenshin a glare.

"You can't leave me behind to be babysat by some old doctor. I am Kamiya Kaoru, assistant master of the Kamiya Kasshin style."

"Just because I look like a little kid doesn't mean that you can treat me like one!" Yahiko reached for his shinia in a threatening manner.

"Fine, Fine if you insistent on coming but I still think you should stay were its safe, that you should." Kenshin said with a shake of his head.

"Kenshin let's just go." Sano growled.

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To put it bluntly, the Kenshin-gumi was lost. Hopelessly and completely lost.

"Kenshin, I thought you knew where we were going!" Kaoru yelled.

"The man's directions said we had to look for a large fallen tree that pointed towards the west. Let's see, which direction is the sun supposed to set in…?" Kenshin looked around with a confused frown on his face.

"You mean to say you don't know which way is west?" Sano demanded, punching his friend in the shoulder, "What kinda wanderer are you?"

"Sano have you ever realized that I'm a wander because I get lost? If I didn't get lost I'd be a 'traveler'. But I'm not a 'traveler'; I'm a 'wander' because I can't read a map; I could never get a compass figured out and as for written or spoken directions…I always forget them or lose the paper they're written on!" Kenshin yelled, his normally calm attitude dissolving.

Suddenly Yahiko held up a hand, "Do any of you guys smell smoke? Like a cooking fire?" he asked.

They fell silent as they each tested the air. Finally Kaoru nodded, "I do. Come on!" She and Yahiko began to lead the others uphill, as the smell of smoke grew stronger the longer they walked. Finally they busted out of the forest onto a peaceful scene.

A small hut occupied the clearing as a creek babbled along beside it. It was obviously the home of a reclusive artist. "Maybe we should see if the owner of this place can give us directions." Yahiko suggested in a soft voice, reluctant to disturb the tranquility that surrounded them.

Despite his best efforts however, the tranquility was shattered.

A tall figure in a gaudy red and white cape burst out of the house and slammed the door shut, throwing a bolt of wood into the lock for good measure before he dashed over to the group and grabbed Kenshin by the front of his gi. The man, being a good deal taller then the rurouni, hauled him off his feet as he shouted into his face, "I don't care who you are or where you're going, just take me with you!" he demanded.

"Ororororo." That was the only answer Kenshin could manage as he was shaken around like a limp rag doll. Finally he found his voice, "Sensei?" he gasped.

"Oh great, it's my baka deshi," The strange man groaned as he dropped Kenshin.

"Do you know this man Himura?" Saitou asked as he eyed the man.

"Hai, he's the man who trained me. Hiko Seijuro, the 13th Master of the Hiten Misturugi Style." Kenshin replied, trying his best to straighten his gi, with little success.

"You use the Hiten Misurugi Style!" Kaoru demanded admiration clear on her face.

Kenshin nodded but Hiko spoke, "Of coarse I do, I taught this baka everything he knows and then some." He was going to go on but a strange voice rang from the hut, "Oh Seijuro, why don't you come back? I don't like it when you lock me in here all by myself." The voice had a definite pout to it.

"Who is that?" Kenshin asked as he tried to figure out just what kind of person that voice had come from. It was too high to be a man's voice, but too low to be a girl's voice. "Is that an apprentice of yours?" he inquired.

"My apprentice?" Hiko shouted, "That…that thing in there would be a disgrace to the Hiten Misturugi Style!"

"I'm not a 'thing', I'm Honjou Kamatari." Kamitari's voice, though muffled, definitely sounded annoyed.

Keshin's eyes narrowed as he remembered a list he had been given by Okubo "Honjou Kamatari. That's the name of one of Shshio's men."

"I don't care who it is. All I know is that he…she…it is a very sick person who thinks it's in love with me." Hiko snapped, glaring at the hut.

"I don't mean to interrupt this conversation, but how to did you get involved with this person?" Saitou asked.

"Some government guy told me that I'd the country a great service if I kept Kamatari away from the rest of the world, he just forgot to mention that Kamatari loved guys." Hiko sighed and reached under his cloak for a large jug of sake.

Silence, expect for the sounds of Kamatari crying and Hiko drinking, fell over the group until finally Yahiko spoke up, "Why don't you ask him about the dragon Kenshin?"

"Dragon? What dragon?" Hiko capped his sake, "There aren't any dragons on this mountain."

"What!" Sano yelled, "We came all the way up here to save some guy's daughter from a dragon, only to find out that there isn't one?"

Much to Sano's annoyance, Hiko began to laugh, "You've met Raiko I see."

"Who's Raiko?" Kenshin asked.

"Raiko's this guy who must live in that village somewhere down the mountain. He's crazy, that's the only word I can use to describe him. Every couple of weeks he suddenly starts running around screaming that his daughter's been taken by a dragon and that somebody needs to save her. All of the other villagers know he's a little strange so they just ignore him."

Kenshin's eyes grew wide, "You mean there isn't a daughter?"

Rolling his eyes, Hiko glared at his pupil, "No you baka! The only thing Raiko has that might count as a daughter is a goldfish named Cleo. I swear, only a baka like you could fall for something so stupid!"

"Hey, before you start calling my friend a baka why don't you tell us how you know all of this, seeing as you spend all of your time on this mountain with Kamatari." Sano glared at Hiko who glared back, "A friend of mine comes to visit me sometimes and he told me about Raiko. He said it was the reason why strange people would wander up to my house from time to time and would start screaming and run away as soon as I came out of the house. They must have thought I was a dragon. Bakas." Hiko muttered the last word under his breath and took another sip of his sake.

"Well I'm sorry for disturbing you but we need to be going. We're on a quest and we need to continue it. Good day." Kenshin bowed and tried to leave the clearing but Hiko's words stopped him, "I'm going with you."

"What!" Kenshin's head whipped around the fast the he hit Kaoru in the face with his pony tail.

"I'm going with you. If I stay here much longer I'm going to kill that Kamatari and that'll really make a mess in the house. Better to avoid that possibility by simply leaving." Hiko stood up and put his sake jug away.

"Shouldn't you stay here? I thought you'd been ordered to guard Kamatari and keep him from escaping." Kenshin protested.

Hiko shrugged, "I'll lock the door. There's food and supplies in the hut so it won't die and I'm sure in time it would've figured out how to escape anyways. I just want to be far away when that happens."

Saitou put an end to the argument, "Let him come. You've already got a raccoon, a little boy and a rooster in your group, why not a dragon to complete the menagerie?"

"Really I don't know…" Kenshin began but was cut off by Kaoru, "Please Kenshin? You never know when it'll be handy to have another warrior around."

"I guess so." Kenshin mumbled, finding he was unable to argue with Kaoru.

"Good. Then if it's all settled can we try to complete the quest this time?" Saitou growled, chewing on the end of his ever present cigarette.

The group quickly agreed and the Kenshin-gumi took off again with one new member.

_Translations: _

_Baka: Idiot_

_Deshi: Apprentice_

_Hai: Yes_


	4. Chapter 4: One Really Big Spider

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, not Rurouni Kenshin or the fairy tales I'm spoofing. They belong to someone who isn't me.

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the long wait and thanks for all of the positive reviews! They really inspire me! Thanks!

**Chapter 4: One really big spider**

"And then there was the first time my baka deshi got drunk. I'll never forget how he started singing and dancing around the pub…" Hiko's voice droned on and on and on.

They had been walking all afternoon and Hiko had spent the entire time relating every embarrassing incident from Kenshin's childhood that he could remember, and they were many.

As each story got progressively more embarrassing, much to Kenshin's dismay and Saitou's private amusement, Kenshin began to doubt his logic in allowing Hiko to come.

Finally they left the mountains behind and found themselves on the outskirts of a small village. Looking towards the west Kenshin noted how low the sun was before looking at Kaoru, remembering her unique condition. He couldn't allow his master to find out about that, if he did he'd never stop teasing Kaoru.

"We should try to find a place to stop for the night before it gets to dark." Kenshin suggested.

The others had just opened their mouths to agree or argue when an explosion came from somewhere to the right of them and before Kaoru could stop him Yahiko had run off to investigate.

"Finally found you. I didn't know how long it was going to take me." Yahiko slid to a stop as he saw a young girl trying to pull her arm away from the grip of a short man who had wings on his back. "Shishio-sama's not too happy that you ran away but if you come back like a nice girl he might even get Yumi to lift that curse from you." It was the flying man's voice that Yahiko had heard.

The girl shook her head with a definite expression and began to pull harder. Yahiko had seen enough.

"Hey bird brain! Leave her alone!"

Both of them turned to face the intruder and the girl pointed firmly towards were Yahiko had come in an attempt to get him to leave but the flying man's eyes narrowed and he released the girl. "Bird brain? You dare call 'Free Flight' Henya of the Juppangatana 'bird brain'?"

"Yeah, and if you don't leave her alone you'll have to deal with me." Yahiko pulled his shina out and assumed a fighting stance, ignoring the girl, whose eyes had gone wide at the mention of a fight.

Henya took a few steps forward and then stopped, fully looking at his opponent. Something about the boy made him pause and to mask his uncertainty he started to laugh, "I'd kill you but I have more important things to do then fight with an over eager little boy."

Yahiko growled a challenge and rushed Henya, who spread his wings and threw a stick of dynamite on the ground, "Next time you won't be so lucky boy."

When the explosion had calmed, Yahiko peeked up from the ball he had rolled into for protection and looked around. The first thing he saw was a pair a feet, followed by a skirt. He kept looking upwards until he found himself staring into the girl's face. Feeling foolish in his position he started to stand and was surprised when she offered him her hand. "Uh…thanks. I'm Yahiko by the way."

The strange girl smiled and then frowned as she saw a cut of Yahiko's head, touching it lightly.

Yahiko hissed in pain and pulled away, "Before you start thinking about my injuries can you at least tell me your name?"

The girl smiled and bent down. Carefully she began to spell a name into the dust.

"Tsubame?" Yahiko looked at the name and the girl smiled and nodded.

"There you are Yahiko!" Kaoru stormed over and grabbed Yahiko by the shoulder and nodding to Tsubame, "I'm sorry if my apprentice has been bothering you. "

Tsubame frantically began to shake her head and tried to explain what had happened between Yahiko and Henya by acting it out.

"Are we playing charades now?" Sano walked over and watched Tsubame for a minute, "Are you trying to describe a party?"

Tsubame frowned and shook her head.

"A dance?"

Another frown.

By this time Kaoru had also started to guess, "A swordsman's stance?"

Tsubame nodded and stopped her impression of Yahiko's stance to move onto the next part.

Several minutes later they were still guessing and the rest of the group had found them. Every time Yahiko tried to give them the answer Kaoru just shook him.

Finally Sano had had enough, "We have no idea, why don't you just tell us?"

Tsubame chewed on her bottom lip and shook her head, gesturing at her throat with one hand and covering her mouth with the other.

"What's wrong?" Kaoru asked, fearing that the girl was going to sick.

"She can't speak." A new girl entered the area and came to stand behind Tsubame. Tsubame turned and looked at her, frantically gesturing at the woman.

The woman nodded and looked towards the others, "I want to thank you for helping Tsubame. According to her, your young friend Yahiko saved her."

Kaoru looked down at Yahiko, "Yahiko, why didn't you tell us this?"

Kenshin could see an argument brewing and spoke up, "Now that we know it really doesn't matter that it doesn't."

Tsubame had been gesturing towards the older woman again who nodded and smiled before looking back at the group, "As a thank you Tsubame asks that you come to our place for dinner and to spend the night."

"Thank you but no. We have supplies and we'd rather not impose on you." Saitou spoke stiffly, almost as if being polite was something he wasn't quite used to.

"Really I insistent. Besides it's not safe to spend the nights outside around here. We have some problems with pirates who live in the woods and attack us from time to time."

Though the group, particularly Kenshin and Saitou, protested, in the end the girl won out and they found themselves at the restaurant her family owned.

"Welcome to the Akabeko." The girl, now known as Tae, opened the door and ushered the group inside. "Come on Tsubame; help me get food for our guests."

"We'll help you." Tokio and Kaoru stood up and went into the kitchen. "Uh…I'll help you guys too." Yahiko mumbled and ran out of the room before any one could see him blush.

"I wonder what's got into Yahiko," Kenshin mused, looking around the large main room.

"It's pretty obvious, he's got a crush on that little girl he saved. " Sano laughed.

Kenshin shrugged, "Possibly."

8888

Sano was more correct then he realized. At that moment Yahiko was walking towards the well carrying a bucket of water and Tsubame was following him.

"So how long have you been with Tae?"

Tsubame held up two fingers and Yahiko nodded, "Two years eh?"

With a shake of her head Tsubame gestured for him to guess a lower number.

"Two months?" Tsubame gestured again and Yahiko paused, "Two…weeks?"

Tsubame smiled and nodded and Yahiko found himself smiling too.

They reached the well and quickly drew out a pail of water. Yahiko picked it up and turned around, his foot catching on a stone. Falling in itself wouldn't have been so bad, except that the well was at the top of a hill. A rather steep hill.

Yahiko rolled to the bottom with the bucket following him. He was laying quietly on the ground when Tsubame came running up to him, the bucket clenched in one hand and a concerned expression on her face.

Yahiko started to sit up, "I'm fine, really." He assured her but Tsubame pointed to the Akabeko, asking if she should get Tae.

"No." Yahiko stood up and took the bucket from her, "If the girls find out they'll all start fussing over me and that'd be embarrassing."

Tsubame glanced towards the ground and Yahiko quickly rephrased his sentence, "I mean the other girls besides you, like if Kaoru or Tokio-san found out, not you. You don't seem to be a very fussy kind of person."

Tsubame smiled and nodded. They walked back up the hill and refilled the bucket, both carefully watching for stones.

8888

Night had fallen and only a few people were still up in the Akabeko. Yahiko and Tsubame had fallen asleep several hours earlier and Kaoru had wandered off without giving an explanation.

Kenshin, Sano, Saitou, Tokio, Hiko and Tae sat around one of the tables.

Tae finally broke the silence, "I really want to thank you for helping Tsubame and being so patient with her. She can be a hard person to understand, especially since Yumi laid that curse on her."

Kenshin's head shot up, "Komagata Yumi laid a curse on Tsubame-dono? Why?"

Tae looked at Kenshin strangely, "Tsubame hasn't told me everything but from what I've gathered Tsubame's family used to work for Shishio until a few weeks ago when Tsubame took the chance and escaped. In punishment for her disobedience Yumi took her voice away. Why are you asking?"

"Several other people we know have been cursed by Yumi and we thought this could have been a similar case." Kenshin replied.

Tae's brown eyes opened wide, "Really? Then Yumi must really get around. Rumor has it she's some kind of witch and she's a powerful one too."

"Well that's comforting to know." Sano replied sarcastically, earning a glare from Saitou.

Tokio could sense that tension was beginning to build and she stood up, "I believe it's time we all got some rest, after all we need to leave early tomorrow."

"Where are you going?" Tae asked.

"Just on a trip." Kenshin tried to avoid the question, fearful of any trouble that might come on these people because they knew to much.

"Lying doesn't become a student of the Hiten Mitsurgui Style baka deshi." Hiko growled, looking at his student over the rim of his sake cup.

Kenshin wilted under his master's glare but stayed resolute, "What we're doing doesn't need to be common knowledge master."

Tae looked from Kenshin to Hiko, before finally looking at Sano, "Can someone please tell me what's really going on?"

Sano took her aside and whispered the truth into her ear.

"Really?" Tae looked at Sano and he nodded. "Well why didn't you tell me the truth in the first place?" she looked towards Kenshin and he sighed, "I didn't want you to get involved that I didn't."

"If you had asked me I could have told you that Shishio sends his men here from time to time. That flying guy that Yahiko stopped is one of his guys in fact; I think his name is Henya."

"Well we can talk about this in the morning. Right now we're all so tired we'll be falling asleep on our feet." Tokio spoke up.

"Tokio-san's right. I'll show you all to your rooms and before you leave tomorrow I'll give you some fresh supplies."

"That's very kind of you that it is." Kenshin spoke up but Tae just smiled, "Don't mention it. After all what are friends for Himura-san?"

8888

Early the next morning Tae and Tsubame bid farewell to their new friends, "Good bye and if you ever come this way again don't hesitate to stop by!" Tae yelled and then looked towards Tsubame who was gesturing something.

She nodded and cupped her hands to her mouth, "Tsubame asks Yahiko to do his best and she'll be cheering for him all the way!"

Yahiko blushed but nodded, "Thanks Tsubame, take care of yourself too and next time I come through I'll say hi!"

"Yahiko's got a girl friend," Kaoru sang and Sano chuckled, "So do you plan on stopping by again soon Yahiko-chan?"

"Shut up both of you!" Yahiko yelled, "and you shouldn't be joking about it Kaoru. I know you have a crush on Kenshin!"

Kaoru blushed as Sano began to laugh harder, "That…that's none of your business Yahiko!"

Yahiko started to sing, "Kenshin and Kaoru sitting in a tree K-I-S-S." he didn't finish the song as Kaoru whacked him on the head with her boken.

"Hey busu what was that for?" Yahiko rubbed his head ad glared at his teacher before pulling out his shinia and trying to hit her with it. Within a few minutes they had run ahead of the others.

Kenshin watched them with a smile. He had never seen Yahiko and Kaoru so at ease and he liked it. Yes indeed, it was a good day to continue his mission. He had left good friends behind him, he had good friends with him and hopefully no other problems would arise and they could make a lot of progress this day.

Or so he thought.

_Translations_

_Busu: Ugly_

_Baka deshi: Idiot apprentice _


	5. Chapter 5: When it Rains it Pours

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I still don't own RK.

**Author's Note:** I apologize for how dull the last chapter was and hopefully this one will be better. Thanks for sticking with me and please enjoy this chapter.

**Chapter 5: When it Rains it Pours**

Kenshin paused suddenly and looked around but the woods that surrounded them were quiet.

"Hey Baka Deshi what's the hold up?" Hiko glanced over his shoulder and Kenshin shrugged, "It's nothing."

"If it's nothing then stop pausing all of the time. This is the forth time you've done that this hour." Saitou growled, feeling more irritable then normal. There was just something about this forest that made him feel…irritable. Like he was being watched.

He wasn't the only one to feel that way it seemed. The entire group had become edgy since they had entered this forest and they all shared the one goal of exiting it as soon as they could.

The group set out again but this time Tokio stopped, "Didn't you all just hear that?" she questioned.

"Hear what?" Kaoru asked as she nervously looked around and causally moved a little closer to Kenshin.

"Something in the tree tops. It sounded like someone or something moving."

Saitou exhaled through clenched teeth, "It's a forest Tokio. Animals live in the trees; that's probably all you heard. Your imagination is working too hard again."

"No it's not Hajime. You're just as unnerved by this forest as the rest of us are. Even Hiko-san's nervous."

Hiko directed his glare at her, "Watch it," he warned.

Tokio was becoming panicky, "Admit it Hajime, you're nervous. I've been watching you sneak glances around us, like you're looking for an enemy. You know someone's watching us."

Saitou clenched his teeth harder, "I am not nervous woman. I've just been trying to find out what's been bothering Himura."

Sano happened to glance up towards the treetops and his eyes widened. Looking back at the group he interrupted the arguing couple, "You guys can fight later or haven't you noticed the pirates who are above us?"

The entire group looked up and sure enough all the treetops around them were full of wood pirates.

Tokio glared at Saitou, "See? I told you I heard something!"

Rolling his eyes Saitou glared at her, "Shut up woman."

The leader of the group jumped down from his place in the trees, followed by the other pirates and he would have landed on Hiko, but the Hiten master calmly moved out of the way and the pirate crashed into the ground.

Quickly regaining his dignity the pirate stood up, "Hand over your valuables and goods or we'll kill all of you!" he ordered, waving a large axe at the group.

"Murdered by pirates isn't too bad a way to go." Sano quipped, "And that's probably what's going to happen here as we don't have anything of value on us."

The pirate raised an eyebrow, "Everybody has something of value and if you don't start handing over the loot then the first one we're going to kill is that little girl with the pony tale."

Kenshin stepped in front of Kaoru and drew his sword, "If you harm Kaoru-dono…"

His speech was cut short as another woman jumped out of the trees and stalked over to the pirate with the axe, "Ginjo, what are you doing?" she demanded.

"Captain Shura, we were just holding up these travelers. These were the ones you were talking about right?"

"No, no, no you idiots! I meant the very, very rich man who was traveling through these woods today. I waited at the ambush spot till he was gone but you guys never showed up." Shura growled, her eyes taking on a dangerous gleam.

"Well we thought that it might have been that guy but when we realized he was rich we decided it couldn't have been him you were talking about."

"And why is that?" Shura asked, her voice dripping with false sweetness.

"Well because he was rich and we don't rob the rich, right?"

Shura exploded, "Yes we rob from the rich! We rob from the rich to give to the poor, remember? We don't rob from the poor to give to the rich, and we certainly don't rob from bums!" she looked the Kenshin-gumi over quickly, "And this is one of the biggest groups of bums I've ever seen."

"Hey, we're not bums!" Yahiko yelled, "Just because we don't have a lot of money doesn't make us bums!"

Shura watched Yahiko with an amused expression, "You're right about that." She agreed before she looked back at her men, "This is the fourteenth time this month you've screwed up! You keep attacking that village not too far from here when I ordered you to attack the manor on the far side of it, you rob innocent travelers and last week you held up a freakening woodchuck and demanded money from it!"

She looked up at the trees and stayed that way for a few minutes, acting like a person who was counting to ten very, very slowly. Finally she looked back at her men, "I guess I just need to find myself some new pirates."

She turned towards the Kenshin-gumi, "Would any of you like to join? You all seem to have brains in you heads."

The group all exchanged uneasy glances with each other but before they could answer Ginjo spoke up, "Don't say that Captain Shura, please. All of us are trying hard to follow your orders."

Shura's expression softened slightly, "Oh alright, I'll give you guys one more chance. There is a carriage that will be coming through these woods in about ten minutes and it'll be on the main highway. If you guys can hold it up and manage to bring the loot back to camp then I'll reconsider what I said about the replacements."

Ginjo's face broke into a slightly goofy grin, "Thank you Captain Shura!"

As the other pirates disappeared into the woods Shura called after them, "Just remember guys, its pillage THEN burn!"

She shook her head lightly, "I swear, sometimes I'm too soft-hearted to be a pirate," she muttered before turning back to face the Kenshin-gumi, "I apologize for that. No hard feelings I hope?"

Kenshin smiled, "None. Thank you for your help and for saving our lives but we must be going that we must."

"Don't mention saving your lives. You all look like you could've taken care of yourself."

"True but thank you for your help anyways." Kenshin nodded and began to follow the group, which had already begun to walk away.

Shura watched them leave, 'They seem like nice people, for being bums. And that swordsman with the red hair was very handsome and kind.' She smiled sadly to herself before vanishing into the forest, intent on finding her men before they burned the pillage they had taken.

8888

Tae looked up as the young man came into the Akbecko, "Good morning! How can I help you?"

"Well…I was just wondering if you'd seen a group of people come through here that had a short man with bright red hair and a cross shaped scar on his left cheek in it. It's very important that I find them."

Tae frowned, "One group did come through here but they left, heading into the forest and I'm not quite sure which direction they went. Are they friends of yours?"

"You could say that." The man nodded and left, leaving a very curious and slightly concerned Tae behind.

Seta Soujirou, Shishio's second in command and the only Tenkan in existence, smiled broadly. Catching Himura Kenshin and his friends would be easier then he had thought!

8888

The Kenshin-gumi had finally left the forest behind and was walking across a meadow when the sounds of a conversation reached the group's ears.

"Please Neechan; I'm at work right now." The man, with a head full of wild white hair, put one finger in his ear in an effort to ignore the man who was standing in front of him and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Yukishiro-san," the man growled and Yukishiro looked towards him, "Yes Tatsumi-san?"

"As I was saying…" Tatsumi was cut off as Yukishiro started to talk again, "No I can't. Please Neechan, don't make me do that." He fell silent before speaking again, "Oh, Tomoe don't cry. Please don't cry. Fine, fine, I'll pick up a quart of milk and a couple of chocolate bars on the way home. But please, stop calling me 'Nishi. It's 'Enishi'."

Enishi frowned, "Don't cry, please. If you want to call me that…"

Tatsumi cut in, "Yukishiro, if you don't take that phone out of your ear and if you don't start paying attention to your work you're fired!"

Enishi sighed, but slowly took a small ear microphone out of his ear. Tatsumi rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath.

Einshi's head shot up, "What did you say about my sister? Did you say she should die?"

Tatsumi glared at Enishi, "I didn't say she should die. I said that it would be better if she did die!"

Enishi's eyes went wide, "You…you…you." His voice slowly rose as he started to unsheathe the large sword that was hanging at his side, "Die! You threatened my sister and you must die!"

His tirade was cut short by the sound of a woman's voice on the other end of the phone, "'Nishi, what's wrong?"

Enishi waved his sword around in one hand and held the phone to his mouth with the other, "Nothing Neechan, and I'll be getting home a little late tonight."

"You got into another fight with your boss didn't you? Hold on, I'll come down there with the first aid kit." Tomoe's voice held a note of frustration in it.

"No really Neechan, you can stay at the house. We're not going to need the kit because I'll be fine and Tatsumi will be dead." He shouted his message into the phone but it was no good, Tomoe had already hung up.

He knew it would only be five minutes or so before Tomoe arrived so he looked around for a place where she'd be safe while keeping one eye on Tatsumi.

Before he could find such a place Tomoe arrived and sat down on a tree stump, "Okay I'm here with the medical supplies so if you have to fight Tatsumi again you can go ahead and start."

"In a minute Neechan, I have to find a place where you will be safe." Enishi responded as he spotted the Kenshin-gumi walking by, "Hey you with the red hair stop!" he bellowed.

Kenshin looked towards him with a puzzled expression, "Were you calling to me?" he inquired.

"Yes, I have a very important job for you. I'm going to fight a duel with that really big guy over there and I need you to watch my sister and make sure she stays sitting on that tree stump. If she tries to move, tackle her."

"T-tackle her!" Kenshin stammered, his face growing bright red.

"Yes, tackle her. My sister has a thing for swords and she likes to jump in front of guys who are fighting with swords. I have no idea where she gets that from; my best guess is that it was something she did in a former life. So you'll keep an eye on her then?"

Kenshin nodded and Enishi, satisfied that his sister was safe, started walking towards Tatsumi, "All right Tatsumi, you've insulted my sister for the last time, prepare to..." Enishi paused in the middle of his sentence and glanced towards Kenshin, frowning slightly.

Suddenly his eyes bugged out and in a burst of speed he had crossed the field again and had gripped the front of Kenshin's gi, hauling the rurouni off of his feet, "It's YOU!" he hissed, "You're the one that broke my sister's heart and almost killed her!"

Tomoe frowned, "Enishi, what are you talking about?"

"This man with his despicable red hair, took you out on a date while you where in high school and he broke your heart! I don't know how he did it; I just know that he did. You cried for months!" Enishi paused, "Okay, maybe you crying lasted for more like a week but still, he broke your heart and I must avenge you!"

Tatsumi rolled his eyes, "I don't have time for this." He began to leave and Enishi dropped Kenshin in a heap on the ground, "Wait! Come back, I still have to fight you!"

He chased Tatsumi to the edge of the field but the man had already left. Enishi came stalking back to the group, muttering something that sounded distinctly like words…of some kind.

He paused in front of Kenshin, "Okay, where were we?" He remembered and hauled Kenshin up, "You broke my dear sister's heart and you will pay!"

"Impressive," Sano muttered, "He didn't even miss a beat."

Enishi glared at Sano before turning back to Kenshin. He was going to yell some more but Tomoe interrupted him as a memory surfaced, "Kenshin, is that you?" she asked and Kenshin managed to nod.

Tomoe looked at her brother, "'Nishi, put Kenshin back on the ground."

"But…but…but…" Enishi stammered, "I have to avenge you Neechan!"

"No you don't Enishi, Kenshin's my friend." Tomoe informed him.

"But the date…your broken heart…?" Enishi gasped.

"The date you keep referring to wasn't even technically a date. We out to a movie and then we had a pizza. And he didn't break my heart because we weren't even a couple. We were two friends who went out for the evening."

"Your tears…?" Enishi gasped, looking like his entire world had fallen apart around his ears.

"That was the week I had the really bad allergies, remember?" Tomoe looked at Enishi, who kept looking between Kenshin and Tomoe.

Kenshin, meanwhile, had remembered something of his own, "Enishi? I remember you now. You were the little boy that wouldn't release Tomoe's leg when I came to pick her, that's right. If I remember correctly, your father had to pry you off with a crowbar."

Enishi glowered at Kenshin, before dropping him, "Neechan, why don't we go back to the house now?" he hissed through clenched teeth.

Tomoe wasn't listening though; she was kneeling next to Kenshin, "It so good to see you again. I know after we graduated we had promised to keep in touch but I lost your address, actually Enishi ate your address."

"He _ate_ it?" Kenshin leaned it closer to whisper in Tomoe's ear, "Pardon me for saying this, but is your brother a little bit…strange?"

"Not strange, just protective. You should have seen what he did when I got married." Tomoe whispered back.

Kenshin grimace, "I can imagine."

They stopped their whispered conversation when Tomoe noticed Enishi trying to listen in, "It was very nice to see you again, but "Nishi and I need to go to the store before Akira, my husband, gets home."

Kenshin stood and then helped Tomoe up, "Yes it was nice to talk to you for a few minutes and maybe the next time I come through we can actually have a conversation." Kenshin suggested.

Tomoe was scribbling on a piece of paper, "That would be fine. Here's my address," she leaned closer, "I'd recommend coming between two in the afternoon and five, that's normally when Enishi's at work."

Kenshin nodded and pocketed the piece of paper, "I'd give you my address but I'm a wanderer so I don't have one. However, if I do settle down, I'll tell you."

Without warning Tomoe hugged Kenshin quickly, "Still it was wonderful to know that you are still alive and healthy. Hopefully we'll meet again soon."

She stepped back and looked towards Enishi, "Shall we 'Nishi?"

Enishi looked uncomfortable, "Please Neechan, don't call me 'Nishi in front of these people, it's embarrassing."

"If that's what you want Enishi, "Tomoe put special emphasis on the "E".

"Well if you want to call me 'Nishi," Enishi's voice trailed off as he and Tomoe walked away, disappearing from view as they rounded a bend in the trail.

The Kenshin-gumi watched them go, "Well that girl was nice enough but that Enishi guy…" Sano trailed off and shook his head, "He was nuts."

"Well I didn't like either of them." Kaoru said with a pout.

Kenshin just smiled, "We need to be going, if we want to find a place where we can spend the night, preferably before it gets dark."

The group took off again but Kaoru shot a dirty glare in the direction Tomoe had gone, 'The nerve of that woman, hugging Kenshin!' she thought with a sulky expression.

_Translations: _

_Neechan: Big/older sister_


	6. Chapter 6: Kitsunes, Icicles, Idiots

**Chapter Six: Kitsunes, and Icicles, and Idiots, Oh My!**

The next morning dawned beautiful and clear, just the type of morning that was perfect to travel on. Kenshin woke up first and had just restarted the fire when Kaoru came running back into the camp, "Kenshin, I found out something awful last night!"

Kenshin looked up hurriedly, "What was it?" he asked, fearing she'd learned something new about her condition.

"I was out wandering around last night when I came onto this really big, not to mention tacky, house in the middle of nowhere! There was a light in one of the upstairs windows and so I climbed up the wall, the whole house was covered ivy, and I looked inside. What I saw was awful! Two men where locking someone in a room and I think that person was a woman because they kept calling it a 'her'!"

Kaoru stopped to catch her breath before she started to talk again, "It was terrible! We have to help that girl!"

"That we do!" Kenshin stood up and looked around, "Everyone else is asleep and we can't waste time waking them up. It'll just be the two of us. Are you ready?"

Kaoru grabbed her boken and nodded. They both left the group quickly, neither one noticing Sano, who had woken up.

"Kenshin, Jou-chan?" Sano hissed, trying to catch their attention but they were both out of ear shot. He looked around and saw that everyone else was still asleep, "Guess I'll just have to follow them myself." He stood up and began to follow them, trying to be quite about it.

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"My plan is sheer brilliance! You thought nothing could replace your Oniwaban but I've found something that can. Combination locks!" Takeda Kanryu proudly held up the small lock so that the man in front of him could see it.

The man in front of Kanryu, Shinomori Aoshi, just nodded absently and glanced up from the cross word puzzle he was doing, "You're right; your plan is brilliant and am I correct in assuming you have an equally brilliant code? Something like 'one, two, three, and four' perhaps?" he asked dryly.

"That's a stupid code; any old idiot could figure that one out." Kanryu smirked, "My code is much more brilliant, it's 'four, three, two and then one'!"

Aoshi raised an eyebrow, "Oh, I stand corrected." He glanced down at his puzzle again, 'Next clue is a six letter word for idiot. Let's see, K-A-N-R-Y-U.' He was distracted from his writing by a sound outside of the window.

"Takeda -san, there's someone outside of the window," Aoshi stated.

Kanryu shook his head, "Nonsense Shinomori, no one even knows that this house is here and they certainly don't know that Takani Megumi is locked in the observatory on the third floor."

Aoshi absently nodded, "If you say so." Tired of listening to his employer, Aoshi tuned Kanryu out, but listened carefully for any undetermined sounds from outside of the window.

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Kenshin and Kaoru buried themselves a little deeper into the foliage that was under the slightly opened window, both listening carefully the conversation between the two men.

"See, what did I tell you Kenshin?" Kaoru whispered, "We need to help that poor woman!"

Kenshin nodded, "That we do but how do we get in the house?"

They both lapsed into silence, unaware of Sano, who was hiding under a different window and had listening to the same conversation they had and was now pondering the same problem they were.

After a few minutes of pondering he got tired of that and stood up, determined to find an entrance into the house. "Maybe walking around this place will give me an idea." He decided and began the trek, keeping his eyes open for anything that might prove useful.

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"What's this about you having to leave today, Shinomori?" Kanryu suddenly stopped babbling about his own brilliance and directed a question at Aoshi.

"I have a personal commitment that I need to fulfill." Aoshi spoke simply.

"I…I can't let you do that. Personal time and days off was not in you contract when I hired you!" Kanryu protested.

"Then I quit Takeda-san." Aoshi put his puzzle aside and stood up.

"You…You can't do that either!" Kanryu spurted and Aoshi looked towards him, "Oh really? And are you going to stop me?"

Kanryu suddenly found himself staring up into Aoshi's cold blue eyes and he gulped nervously, "W-what I meant was that if you stay I'll double your pay."

Aoshi only raised an eyebrow, "Money won't convince me to stay. I no longer work for you." He started to walk towards the door but Kanryu reached it first and blocked it, "I'll triple your pay!"

Aoshi took another step towards the door and Kanryu's eye twitched, "I'll pay you four times as much as I'm paying you now!" he shouted. Aoshi took another step towards the door.

Kanryu was getting desperate, "I'll pay you ten times as much as I'm paying you now if you'll stay on as my body guard!"

Aoshi reached out and grabbed Kanryu's tie, pulling the man towards him, "You're in my way Takeda-san." He spoke in a low dangerous voice, "and I'm going to remove you."

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Halfway around the mansion Sano had found something interesting, a back door that was unlocked and led to a staircase. At the moment he was walking up the staircase, taking great pains to avoid the few people who were working in some of the halls.

As he reached the top of the staircase one door caught his eye. Perhaps it was the odd lock that was on the door, or maybe it was the sign that read, "Third Story Observatory" on it.

He looked at the lock for a moment but unable to figure out how it worked he opened the door in a time honored fashion. He kicked it in.

The woman who had been standing with her back to the door jumped and spun around, "What the!" she demanded.

"Are you Takani Megumi?" Sano demanded.

"It depends on who you are." Megumi replied.

"I'm Sagara Sanosuke and I'm trying to rescue you."

"Then yes I am Takani Megumi." Megumi said then paused as she listened to the shouts that where coming from the staircase, "And I was doing just fine rescuing myself before you barged in and now you've ruined everything."

"So we can't use the backdoor, didn't you notice the other door right there?" Sano pointed towards the main door of the room.

"Of course I know about that door you baka, but it's locked from the outside." Megumi was examining the remains of the back door as she spoke.

"So?" Sano grinned and made a fist with his right hand.

"You won't be able to punch it in." Megumi replied.

"Watch me." Megumi held up a hand to stop him but Sano punched the door anyways and yelled out in surprise, "What is this door made out of?" he demanded, turning towards Megumi and holding his throbbing hand.

"Metal." Megumi smirked, "Now help me brace this door shut with something."

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"Quit whining, it's not that bad." Aoshi groaned as he shoved Kanryu into the coat closet. The man was gagged with his own gloves and Aoshi had used Kanryu's tie to bind his hands together.

He had just shut the closet door when someone knocked on the front door, "Who would that be?" Aoshi wondered before his curiosity won out and he walked over to it.

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"Kaoru-dono this isn't a good idea," Kenshin fingered the hilt of his sword as Kaoru raised her hand to knock on the door again.

"Do you have a better idea Kenshin?" she demanded.

Unexpectedly the door opened and a tall man with a white trench coat was standing in the doorway, "Can I help you?" he asked dubiously.

"We've come to rescue the woman that you have locked in the observatory Takeda!" Kaoru announced before Kenshin could stop her.

"First off I'm not Takeda Kanryu; I'm his ex-bodyguard Shinomori Aoshi. Second, if you want to rescue Takani Megumi feel free to do so. The observatory is on the third floor to the left. It's the last door on the right side of the hallway. If you reach the bedrooms you've gone too far." Aoshi rattled off the directions as he began to step outside of the house but paused, "On second thought, I should take you there myself. This place is easy to get lost in."

Kenshin and Kaoru where taken back by Aoshi's calmness, "Uh…thank you but shouldn't you be trying to stop us. I mean you are a body guard and all." Kenshin stammered.

"I'm the ex-bodyguard and I don't mind helping you, it seems to be a fitting way to repay Kanryu." Aoshi led them up a staircase and down several twisting halls before stopping in front of a door labeled "Observatory". He tinkered with the lock on the door for a moment and then opened the door. "Takani-san's in here."

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Megumi swore under her breath as the door began to open, "You need to get out of here. If anyone finds you in here Kanryu's going to kill both of us!" Megumi hissed as she tried to find a place where she could hide Sano.

The door swung open and she spun around, "Shinomori-san…" her voice trailed off as she noticed the two new people who were standing in the doorway. Megumi quickly recovered, "Uh…are you two new here?" she questioned, looking at Kenshin and Kaoru.

They were both staring at Sano but Kaoru tried to answer Megumi's question, "Um…no. Actually we came to rescue you but it seems that Sano got here first."

Megumi looked over her shoulder at Sano, "This baka? Rescue me? He's trying to get me killed!"

"Hey! You're not dead yet are you?" Sano glowered at her.

"If it hadn't been your friends at the door…" Megumi was interrupted as Kenshin held up his hands, "We shouldn't argue about this. No one's dead but we really should be leaving soon."

Aoshi had been glancing over his shoulder, "Not to press you but we should be leaving sooner rather then later. It won't take Kanryu too long to figure out that we're up here."

"You're right Shinomori-san, plus if we don't get back to the others quickly they will begin to worry that they will." Kenshin nodded.

The group quickly exited the mansion.

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Kenshin, Kaoru, Sano, and Megumi had almost made it back to the camp when Kenshin realized that someone was following them.

"Shinomori-san, is there a reason why you're following us?"

Aoshi walked towards them, "I'm not following you; we're simply traveling in the same direction. I'm trying to reach the main road."

"Oh. I don't mean to pry but where are you going?" Kenshin asked.

"Kyoto." Aoshi's answer was simple but Kenshin's eyes widened, "We're going there too! Why don't you come with us? It's not safe to travel alone."

"Thank you but I'll be fine." Aoshi started to walk but Megumi stopped him, "You don't know were you're going once you reach Kyoto. I know that much from the conversation I overheard between you and your men before they left last week. But Ken-san has a wonderful sense of direction and he'll be able to help you."

"Oro!" Kenshin gaped at Megumi, "Bu-but that's not true."

Aoshi smirked slightly, "So your sense of direction is not as good as Takani-san claims. Somehow I'm not surprised. Still Takani-san what you said is also true. I do have little idea of were I'm going once I reach Kyoto as I've only been there once and that was when I was a small child."

"I've been to Kyoto; I used to live there when I was younger. If you come with us I'm sure we can help each other." Kenshin suggested, "I could help you find your destination and you could aid me in making sure that my other friends reach Kyoto safely. Not all of them are great fighters."

Aoshi considered Kenshin's deal for a moment, "It seems fair to me. Very well, I'll help you but once we reach Kyoto I don't plan on staying around."

"My friends and I aren't planning on staying there long either." Kenshin looked towards the direction of the camp, "We'd better be going. The others are probably wondering where we are."

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"Hey Hiko-san, Kenshin's back!" Yahiko yelled as he bolted towards Kaoru, not noticing the two new strangers. "Where were you this morning and why'd you run off without the rest of us? We're the Kenshin-gumi and we have to stick together!"

Kaoru barely dodged Yahiko's tackle, "Yahiko, I'd like you to meet Takani Megumi, Kenshin and I went to rescue her."

Yahiko barely acknowledged Megumi before he went back to yelling at Kaoru, "Why didn't you take me? Did you think it's because I'm not strong enough, is that it?"

Kenshin was going to calm Yahiko down when he found himself confronted by both Hiko and Saitou.

"Why didn't you tell us what was going on baka-deshi?" Hiko glared at his student.

"Well everyone but Kaoru, Sano and I were asleep and we didn't have time to wake all of you up."

"Why not Himura?" Saitou asked, also glaring at the smaller man.

Kaoru was sitting on top of Yahiko, having gotten tired of his yelling, "Don't worry, Kenshin will explain everything. But first we should all eat some breakfast." She dashed over to the cooking supplies before anyone could stop her.

Aoshi and Megumi had been standing off to the side, unnoticed by the others but finally Aoshi stepped forward, "It's very simple really and I can explain what happened to all of you if you'd all stop shouting long enough for a person to speak."

"Who are you?" Hiko demanded before looking at his former pupil, "You have a lot of explaining to do, baka-deshi."

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Hiko and Saitou had extracted the whole story from Kenshin by the time breakfast was over.

"That was the worse meal I ever ate." Sano complained as he chewed thoughtfully on the blade of grass that he had stuck in his mouth.

Kaoru aimed her glare at Sano for a moment before redirecting it back to the person she had been glaring at the entire meal. Megumi had been inching closer to Kenshin throughout breakfast and by now she was practically on top of the poor rurouni.

"So Megumi-san, don't you have a family you should be getting back too? Or anyone who might be worried about you?" Kaoru questioned, trying very hard to sound civil and not give away the fact that Megumi was quickly getting on her bad side.

"Oh no, besides I rather like Ken-san and I'd like to stay around him. Also if your medical skills are on par with your cooking skills you're going to need an experienced doctor." Megumi smiled slyly before looking at Kenshin, "Isn't that right Ken-san?"

"Oro?"

Saitou watched Megumi with disgust before glancing at Aoshi who had been sitting apart from the others, "Let me guess. The real reason you joined us was not to get the Kyoto but actually because you're in love with Himura too." He took a final drag off of his cigarette and tossed it in the fire.

Aoshi briefly looked up at him, "Wrong. The real reason I joined you was so that I could get to Kyoto so that I could get married. And my spouse is female… at least I hope so. I've never actually met this person." For an instant uncertainly flickered in Aoshi's eyes before he looked back towards the ground.

He had spoken so softly that only Saitou could have heard him. Saitou nodded briefly before standing up, "Are we going to do anything today Himura, besides talk? Because if we are we'd better get moving."

Tokio looked up at her husband from her spot on the ground, "Must you always be so commanding Hajime?"

"Yes. No one else here is smart enough to take control."

"I'm sure the others would do just fine if you just stopped being so controlling."

"I thought you liked it when I acted controlling, that's what you always told me at least."

Kenshin rubbed his temples as he listened to the couple argue. He could also hear Kaoru yelling at Megumi and Sano and Yahiko were snapping at each other. The only two who were quite were Aoshi and Hiko, the former because he was deep in thought and the latter because he was deep in a sake bottle.

He could also sense that this was only the beginning of the bickering. It was going to be a long day.


	7. Chapter 7: More New Friends

**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing.

**Author's note: **Cho the Sword Hunter shows up in this chapter. In Japanese, Cho's name means "Butterfly" and this fact will come to play later in the chapter. Thanks for all of the positive reviews.

**Chapter 7: More New Friends**

Kenshin's prediction had proved right. The so called Kenshin-gumi had done nothing but argue with each other all day.

Kaoru had switched between beating Yahiko over the head with her boken, throwing things at Sano and yelling at Megumi. The relationship between Saitou and Tokio were more strained then usual, and Sano had moved between teasing Megumi, frustrating Kaoru and poking fun at Yahiko. Yahiko was either trying to hit Kaoru with his shinia or chewing on Sano's hair.

Kenshin had had enough, "That's it! I'm going ahead alone. When you are all finished arguing you can catch up to me!" Kenshin yelled at the astonished group before stomping off, muttering under his breath.

Only Aoshi seemed unsurprised by Kenshin's outburst, he's been waiting for Kenshin to snap for almost an hour. He had observed the signs, such as Kenshin's sudden and uncontrollable eye twitch, and he'd known the explosion was coming.

"Should we go after him Hiko-san?" Kaoru looked towards Hiko, who shook his head, "Nope. Let the baka blow off steam for a bit and then we'll go find him"

The group, satisfied by Hiko's advice, quickly fell back to finishing off their respective arguments.

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Kenshin flopped down by a stream and stared at the clouds. He wasn't really angry at them. It had been a long trip for all of them and it was not even close to being finished. They were all stressed, tired and many of them didn't get along.

But he was frustrated, frustrated at himself mostly. He was upset that so many people had gotten involved, people that shouldn't have been there in the first place. How could an assistant master of kendo, her apprentice, a housewife and a female doctor even help in the fight against Shishio?

He was broken out of his morose thoughts by the sounds of a fight, "'Ey! That's mah sword!" a strange voice with a thick accent shouted. Kenshin couldn't hear the answer but it mustn't have been good because the man with the accent yelled again.

Kenshin had heard enough. He stood up and ran to where the sounds were coming from.

He stepped into a small clearing that had a shrine of some kind at the far end. It would have been a peaceful picture if not for the scene playing out in front of it. A man with impossible wild blonde hair was waving a sword at three men. One of the men was incredibly muscular, one was short with spiky hair and the last was large with a huge oil cask on his back.

"Is there a problem here?" Kenshin asked as he moved forward.

The four men looked towards him but the blonde one spoke first, "Nope partner, not at all!"

"At least not a problem that we can't handle." The muscular man slammed a large right fist into his equally large left palm.

The blond guy gulped, "Actually, Ah was just leaving."

"Not so fast." The man grabbed the blond, "Hey Beshimi, come over here and help me out."

The short one, Beshimi, started to come over but Kenshin stepped in front of him.

"Hey move!" Beshimi barked but Kenshin remained where he was, "I can't allow you to hurt this man until I learn what he did."

"Did you hear that Shikijo? This guy wants to find out what our blonde friend did." Beshimi addressed his comment to the muscular man.

"This guy didn't do much; he just tried to steal a couple of the swords that are stored at this shrine. Luckily this place had some guards: the three of us."

"Oh!" Kenshin looked from the blonde man to the three guards, unsure as to what he should do.

Suddenly the big one looked to the opposite side of the clearing, "Okashira?" he mumbled.

"Are you sure you aren't seeing things Hyottoko?" Beshimi asked but also looked towards where Hyottko was staring, "It is him." Beshimi's voice sounded slightly strangled and more then a little surprised.

Kenshin turned to look and saw Aoshi walking up. He had obviously heard the noise and was coming to investigate. He paused for a moment before continuing forward, "I thought you'd already be in Kyoto by now."

Hyottoko scratched his head, "Well we were heading there but then we met this guy who asked us to watch the swords in this shrine over here. There'd been some trouble with bandits and he was worried about the swords. We agreed and we caught the bandit." He glanced at the blond man who had stopped struggling but was now glaring at Shikijo.

"Ah wasn't no bandit!" he protested, "Ah'm just a lost traveler who was looking fer directions."

"Really?" Beshimi stepped towards him, "Then why are all three swords that were stored here now on your belt?"

"Actually Ah was looking for a special sword. I had permission from the owner ya see and he told me it'd be here. Well the wakizashi was too short and the Chinese sword was too long…"

He was cut off by Kaoru, who had also stepped into the clearing at the head of the rest of the group, "Then why are they both in your belt?"

"Well Missy, Ah'm a sword collector, 'Sword Loving' Cho they call me." Cho's face fell as slowly the entire group started to snicker, "Ah go ahead and laugh! And they wonder why Ah never introduce mah self." Cho mumbled under his breath.

Kenshin struggled to maintain a straight face, "I don't think you have any right to any of those swords Ch-." Kenshin lost his control halfway through Cho's name.

"Ah you're right!" Cho pulled the stolen swords out of his belt and threw them on the ground. "Wait, could Ah fight you for them? Winner takes the swords?"

Kenshin looked towards the three Oniwaban, "You'd have to fight them; they're the guardians."

Cho looked at the three Oniwaban, "On second thought…" his voice trailed off and he looked towards the group, "What if I fight one of these guys instead? You all seem connected anyways."

Sano smirked, "Sorry, but we're not the guards; those guys are. You either fight them or you leave."

Cho glared at him, "What's a roosterhead like you know?"

"What'd you call me?" Sano demanded.

"Ah called you a roosterhead or you goin' deaf?" Cho yelled back.

"You're the one who's going deaf you broomhead!"

"Now now, there's no reason to fight about this." Kenshin stepped between the two but all he got for his troubles was to be shoved out of the way.

Sano and Cho continued to yell at each other for several minutes until Cho grew bored, "Ah gotta go so we can continue this later roosterhead. But Ah won't be fergettin' this." He walked away from the shrine muttering under his breath.

"Good riddance to you." Sano mumbled, glaring at the retreating sword hunter.

"I don't see why you couldn't have put up with him. You to seem to be related, you're both ahous." Saitou rubbed the bridge of his nose thoughtfully before glaring at Kenshin, "Now that we've wasted more time that we don't have can we be going?"

"Yes that we should, granted you've all finished your business." Kenshin stared at them as they all nodded, some more sheepishly then others. "Very well, what about you Shinomori-san? Will you stay with your men?"

Shikijo glared at Kenshin, "No, we're going with him. He needs to get to Kyoto and we're his men so we'll be going with him."

Kenshin looked around, "Alright but we need to go now. Shinomori-san, are you alright?"

Aoshi was looking around with a distracted expression "Wait, where is Han'nya? He was with you."

"Umm…Han'nya…well we aren't quite sure what happened to Han'nya. He just disappeared. He had said he was going to scout ahead and he never came back. We were looking for him when we met the guy who told us to guard this place." Shikijo rubbed the back of his neck in confusion.

"Knowing him he's probably already waiting for us in Kyoto." Beshimi muttered.

"Perhaps so but I still have the feeling that we should stay here for some more time. You should go ahead Himura; my men and I will catch up with you." Aoshi couldn't shake the feeling that something bad, and strange, had happened to Han'nya.

"If that's what you want." Kenshin nodded and stepped back towards the group, "I hope you find your friend that I do."

With that, the group, minus Aoshi and his men, took off.

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Several hours later Aoshi and his men were walking in the direction the rest of the Kenshin-gumi had gone. They had spent the entire afternoon looking for Han'nya but to no avail. The last member of the Oniwaban seemed to have disappeared into thin air.

Beshimi however was still convinced that Han'nya was in Kyoto, wondering where they were.

Aoshi paused as the Kenshin-gumi came into sight. They had stopped and were staring at something.

He sighed inwardly and started walking again as his thoughts returned to the one subject they had been dwelling on persistently, what had happened to Han'nya?

Maybe Beshimi was right, maybe Han'nya was waiting for them in Kyoto. But somehow he doubted that. Only trouble was waiting for them in Kyoto, he could feel it.

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Kenshin heard Aoshi and his men coming up and he took his eyes away from the view that was spread out in the valley below the group to greet the man, "Shinomori-san, did you find your missing comrade?"

Aoshi shook his head and walked over to see what the group was staring at.

It was a forest, but unlike the others it consisted mostly of fir trees and something about the sight of it chilled the blood of every member of the group.

"We've got to go through it and standing here won't help. Shall we start and get at least part way through before dark?" Saitou suggested as he blew a stream of smoke into the air. He was smoking…again.

"Are you sure we want to be in there after dark?" Kaoru asked, gulping nervously.

"We don't know how big this forest is so in all probability we'd have to spend at least one night in there anyways. Saitou-san is right, the sooner we get started the sooner we'll be out of there."

The group began to slowly walk down the trail, Sano taking the lead. He was the first one to see the strange man standing on the edges. The man smiled and began to walk forward, "I've been expecting you."

"Do I know you?" Sano asked quizzically.

"No but you know Saitou-kun who I also know. Hello Saitou-kun!" the man waved to Saitou who had caught up with Sano.

"Okita, I was under the impression that you died. Something about tuberculosis."

Okita frowned then shrugged, "Oh that. I didn't actually die you see, that was just a convenient way for me to leave without anybody asking questions. I'd like to explain further but right know I need to talk to someone who's supposed to be traveling with you. A Himura Kenshin, do you know him?"

"I'm right here." Kenshin stepped forward and Okita smiled, "I have a message and a gift for you."

"Oh?" Kenshin raised his eyebrows, trying to figure out who'd be sending him a message.

"Okay, here goes. 'The journey ahead is thick with danger but find the Aoiya in Kyoto and you'll find help'. And here's the gift, it'll help you on your quest."

He pulled a compact mirror out of the pack at his side and tossed it towards Kenshin. Kenshin caught it, "Um…thanks."

Okita smiled again, "Well I'll be seeing you. Good luck on your quest and Saitou, here's my address. Call me sometime and we can catch up."

With that he was gone and the Kenshin-gumi was left standing in the clearing, staring at the compact mirror in Kenshin's hand.

"What are we going to do with a compact mirror?" Sano asked staring at the little object.

"I'm sure it has its uses," Megumi said with a shrug, directing her attention to the large forest, "Like signaling for help should you get lost in there."

"Maybe it's not a mirror," Kaoru suggested as she grabbed the mirror from Kenshin's hand and opened it. She gazed into it for a moment before she screamed and threw it on the ground.

"Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin frantically asked, "Are you alright?"

"A…a face in the…mirror…and it wasn't mine!" she stammered.

"A face in the mirror?" Aoshi asked and bent to pick it up, before he could however a voice came from the mirror, "Not to be rude but would you please stop calling me 'face'? My name is Katsu for your information."

"Katsu. So what are you doing in there Katsu?" Sano asked.

"I'm a talking mirror. I give you advice when you're in tough situations. I'm not a seer, I can't read into the future and I can only tell you where someone is if they've told me. I can't see into other countries, I only see what I'm shown."

Sano picked the mirror up and looked at the face inside, "Would you mind if I closed the lid on this thing and put you in my pocket?"

Katsu gave a short laugh, "Wow, someone's being polite to me, I'm amazed. Sure go ahead, I don't care."

Megumi watched the exchange and chuckled, "Ah the roosterhead can be polite, I'm amazed."

"Will you stop calling me that?" Sano yelled, "You've been calling me that all afternoon!"

Megumi laughed again, "I don't see why I can't. You let Cho call you that."

Unable to come up with a response to Megumi's taunt, Sano just glared at her, "You are such a…such a fox!" he finally yelled.

Kenshin watched the two arguing for a moment before turning to Kaoru, "You know Kaoru-dono I think they're warming up to each other."


	8. Chapter 8: Does anyone know

**Disclaimer: **In my absence I have not suddenly inherited Rurouni Kenshin so I still own nothing. Dang.

**Authors Notes: **Thanks for all the great reviews on my last chapter. Parody/Humor stories are new ground for me so I really love all the positive feedback. I'm sorry for my long absence (I've been changing to a new computer) but I should start being able to post more often again. Read and Review as always but Flames will be ignored.

**Chapter 8: Does anyone know what they're doing!**

They had entered the forest but they weren't able to get far before the light began to fade. The only thing they could do was find a place to camp and wait out the night.

The girls had fallen asleep, even Kaoru hadn't felt up to wandering around, and the men, minus Aoshi and his men, were sitting around the fire, keeping watch.

Aoshi had thought that maybe they could find Han'nya here and the others, being in agreement, had gone with him to search.

"Sensei what do you think of this forest?" Kenshin finally asked Hiko.

"I don't like it but maybe it's the company I'm keeping." He directed a glare at Kenshin, who shut his mouth with a snap.

"This forest's not that bad, it's not evil or anything." Sano leaned against a tree and shut his eyes.

"How do you know?" Yahiko asked as he opened his eyes and shifted the shinia that had been resting on his shoulder. He had taken to sleeping like Kenshin had, sitting up with his weapon on his shoulder. It was one of the many ways he had started to imitate the wanderer.

"I just know." Sano briefly opened his eyes before closing them again and he just missed seeing another man step into the clearing.

Saitou immediately blotted up and drew his sword, "Identify yourself!" he demanded.

The stranger just smiled, "I'm a traveler like yourselves. I saw your fire and came over, hoping I could at least be allowed to warm up for a few minutes."

"Of course, please sit down;" Kenshin, more hospitable then Saitou gestured towards the area surrounding the fire, "You're most welcome here."

The stranger came forward and sat down across from Sano, "Hello Sano."

Sano bolted upright and his eyes snapped up, "Captain Sagara?" he gasped, "But I was told that you were dead."

Saitou rolled his eyes, "Wonderful, another person that was thought dead but wasn't. What next, are you going to say this man's your father ahou?"

Sano glared at Saitou, "This is Captain Sagara, the man that practically raised me." He looked back at Sagara, confusion replacing his glare, "But still…"

"I am dead Sanosuke."

"What!" Sano yelped and scooted back till he was against the tree.

"Sano be quiet, you're going to wake the others!" Kenshin admonished, glancing nervously in the direction of the sleeping women.

"If you're dead what are you doing here?" Sano asked, still rattled but in a much lower voice.

"I'm here to help you Sano. Since my death I've been assigned to make sure you continue to live a decent and upright life. I have a few other duties besides that but you don't need to know about them." Sagara explained.

"Congratulations Sano, you have a fairy godmother." Yahiko quipped with an evil grin.

"Excuse me but I'm not a fairy godmother, I prefer the term 'Guide' or 'Guardian'." Sagara frowned slightly at being called a fairy, never mind a fairy godmother.

"Sorry." Yahiko mumbled.

"It's all right. Now Sano, as I was saying. This quest that you've decided to join up with is going to be dangerous and you're going to face many powerful foes. To aid you in your fights I've been ordered to grant you certain powers."

"What kind of powers?" Sano asked nervously, and Kenshin suddenly remembered how superstitious his friend was. This could not bode well he decided, nervously rubbing his neck.

"Nothing incredibly great, just added endurance and the ability to hit and damage entities that normally could avoid your blows such as ghosts, genies, and banshees." Sagara stood up slowly and raised his hands in Sano's direction.

"No way am I having anything to do with these powers of your! If I get 'em I'll probably wake up in sewer or something!" Sano bolted away from the tree, pushing Saitou in his haste to move.

Saitou landed in the spot Sano had been sitting in just as the fire died down, bathing the camp in darkness.

Sagara made some monitions with his hands and a sudden light up and disappeared just as quickly. Saitou cursed incoherently but no one could find him as they tried to blink the spots away from their eyes. By the time they had regained their vision the fire was burning brightly again and Sagara was sitting down again, staring into the fire.

Briefly he glanced up, "I apologize for having to temporarily dose your fire but my superiors are fond of making everything incredibly over-dramatic. No harm done?"

Saitou stood up shakily, rubbing his head, "What did you hit me with you ghost?" he hissed slightly as he walked over and punched Sagara in the jaw.

His head whipped around and Sagara rubbed his jaw, "Hmm, that connected and I felt it. Odd, you shouldn't have been able to do that…wait. Sano hit me please."

"What Captain? You want me to hit you?"

"Yes, it's very important that you do so in fact."

Sano slowly made a fist, "Sorry about this Captain." He hit Sagara in the arm but to his surprise, and relief, his fist went through.

Sagara frowned however, "Your fist should have connected. Something's wrong…oh no." He rubbed a hand down his face, "It's because you moved Sano. You moved just as I was preparing the transfer and it got sent to this other man. I'm truly sorry."

"Wait, you're saying that Saitou got the powers instead?" Sano asked slowly.

"I'm afraid so." Sagara offered Sano a slightly sheepish grin, "It was dark, even I can't see well in the dark."

"This is just great! It wouldn't have been so bad if Kenshin or Yahiko had got it but Saitou? That jerk?"

Saitou glared at Sano, "Watch it ahou," he warned.

"Is there anyway you could reverse it or something?" Sano asked.

"I'm afraid not, I've only be authorized to give one gift, no matter who gets it. I'm working under a no return policy. I'm sorry but that's how it is."

He stood up, "I've got to go now, I've other matters to attend too," he looked at Sano and smiled again, this time reassuringly, "Everything happens for a reason and I'm sure that this mix-up has a reason too. It'll all work out in the end. Meanwhile read this, it's the next best thing I can offer." He tossed Sano a pamphlet and began to walk away, "Oh and before I forget, good luck on your quest."

With that he was gone. An uneasy silence fell over the group as they waited for either Saitou or Sano to explode. Kenshin decided to head off the brewing argument, "It's almost dawn, we need to rest or we'll be no good tomorrow. Let's get some sleep." He leaned up against a rock and closed his eyes, quickly copied by Yahiko.

One by one each of the others fell asleep but Sano stayed awake the longest reading a pamphlet titled _Futae no Kiwami for beginners_.

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Two days later they finally made it out of the enchanted forest with no more mishaps, except that they got lost briefly on the afternoon of the first full day in the forest. Every night Aoshi and his men looked for their missing comrade but every morning they were back in the camp, unsuccessful.

Now they found themselves in a truly barren region. Any trail that could have existed was now gone, wiped away from the slate rock, leaving only the grey stone staring back mockingly.

"We've got to get past this place; it's the only way to get to Kyoto. Because we lost the main road in the forest we're going to be taking the back road to Kyoto", 'If I could find it,' Kenshin added the last sentence in his mind so as not to lower the moral of his friends any more.

"We could just ask for directions from that information booth over there to the left." Katsu suggested. He was open and watching the proceedings with interest.

They all looked in that direction and saw a small, run down shack bearing the words "Hoji's Information Center" in peeling paint on the front.

"I suppose it's better then getting lost again." Kenshin said dubiously and walked over, "Wait here, Sano and I will be right back. Come on Sano."

They walked to the booth and Kenshin knocked on one of the walls gingerly, "Hello?"

"Yes, yes, how can I help you?" A man with a thin face and receding hairline popped up from behind the corner, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

Kenshin stepped back slightly, "Um…we're lost and we were hoping you could give us directions to Kyoto."

A slightly crafty and worried expression came into Hoji's eyes, though he tried to hide it behind a false smile, "Directions to Kyoto you said? Very well, very easy to give. And I'll even give them to you free of charge."

Katsu and Sano watched the man rapidly scribbling on a piece of paper, licking his lips as he concentrated.

"Katsu, this guy's pretty weird." Sano whispered and Katsu, who had exceptional hearing, nodded, "He's a weirdo alright."

Hoji finished writing and handed the paper to Kenshin, "Here you go, good luck on your trip, hope it goes well!" He ducked down under the counter again, ignoring his customers now that he had served them.

Kenshin looked at the directions, "Well theses are better then nothing." He said finally and folded them up before placing them in his pockets.

As they walked back to the group they didn't hear Hoji snickering to himself as he finished his lunch, "Those fools. They'll never realize I gave the wrong directions until they find themselves hopelessly lost with no way to back track. Shishio-sama will be so pleased when he learns how well I've protected his interests!"

Hoji allowed himself to indulge in a prolonged chuckle, very pleased with his own cleverness.


	9. Chapter 9: Little Fortress of Horror

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any of the shows/stories/books that I'm spoofing.

**Author's Note:** So the insanity continues! In this latest installment I finally introduce all of the Juppongatana. So hold onto your hats…and any valuables that you might have with you and join me for the ride! Read and Review if you want but Flames will be ignored! Thanks!

**Chapter 9: Little Fortress of Horrors**

_Evil King Shishio Makoto had been ruling the country next to King Okubo's for almost two years, very happily might I add. He was even considering taking over Okubo's country for such a happy prosperous place was too ripe a plum for him to resist. _

_But then he had learned of a man, Himura Kenshin, who was coming to challenge his rule. And now he was gathering his ten strongest men, his Juppongatana, to help him repel this threat…_

Shishio looked at the calculator in his hand for a long moment, studying the two perfect puncture holes right in the center. "Hoji, did you suck the life out of my calculator again?"

Hoji came running up, "Of course not Shishio-sama. Vey vould I do vhat?" he asked in a cheesy European accent.

Shishio sighed, "Hoji, drop the accent. We both know you're not from Transylvania."

"Sorry sir." Hoji was a vampire, but unlike normal vampires he didn't suck blood, in fact blood made him sick. No, he was an office vampire, he derived his existence from sucking the power from calculators, computers and when he was thirsty he'd suck the ink from ledgers.

Shishio tossed the calculator onto his desk, "Anyways Hoji, back to business, how many of my men have arrived?"

"Um…" Hoji thought for a minute, "I'm not sure because they keep trickling in slowly. I believe I'm the only one so far but I'll alert you the instant they come."

"Very good." Shishio was going to give another order but a piercing scream distracted them, "Yumi are you alright?"

A woman, struggling to keep her kimono up, raced into the room and collapsed on the couch, "Oh Shishio-sama, it's awful. I was practicing a spell to make roses grow and now the entire basement is covered in man eating roses! I think need a stiff drink" She gratefully accepted the drink Hoji had poured for her and took a long sip, "Oh thank you Hoji." She said with a sigh.

"Now, now Yumi it's alright." The sound of somebody opening the door to the room and collapsing in the doorway directed all of their attention to the front of the room.

"Soujirou, are you alright?" Yumi yelled in alarm.

Seta was collapsed in the doorway, his skin covered in greenish grey mud, his hair full of twigs and his pants eaten up past his knees, "I've come to give you my report Shishio-san."

"First off Soujirou, tell us what happened to you. You look like you've been attacked by crocodiles."

"I was and I've been meaning to ask you who suggested that our northern borders should be guarded by man eating crocodiles!" Seta yelled as his smile becoming wider the angrier he got.

"That would be Hoji…but what were you doing on the northern border? I ordered you to follow Himura and his companions."

"I was but I lost them in the enchanted forest on the other side of the mountains and by the time I made my way out they were either gone or they were lost in the woods too. I had no idea were I was so I got directions from this seedy information booth but they just lead me into the middle of some swamp where fish were just beginning to grew their legs! From there I finally found my way to the northern border but somehow, people forgot to tell me about the crocs!" Seat staggered upright and supported himself on the doorframe, "I need a bath, a meal, a pair of new pants and something to drink before I kill someone!"

Hoji had been growing paler during Seta's story and as Seta finished speaking he threw himself at the foot of Shishio's desk, "I confess! I misdirected Seta-san, I thought he was one of Kenshin's friends, I mean this is the first time I've ever met the other Juppongatana face to face. I didn't know he was your right hand man Shishio-sama. What can I do to atone for my sins! I know! I'll stab myself with a spork; I'll drown myself in the toilet, I'll lick your shoes!"

Shishio watched him oddly, "Okay, enjoy yourself but don't do it in here."

Yumi turned her glare on him, "I just got these rugs cleaned so if you get blood on them I'll turn you into a newt! And Soujirou, you're getting mud on the white carpets, go to your room and take a bath! "

As the two men left Shishio turned his head to look at Yumi, "Honey, I have one question, why did you insist we get white carpeting in the middle of a fortress full of rough men who are always tracking blood in here and never wipe the mud off of their feet?"

Yumi smiled slyly, "Well you see…"

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Yumi was still explaining the reason why she had to choose white carpeting when Seta came back, after a bath and a trip to the medic. Hoji had come in earlier; having realized he couldn't kill himself with a spork.

The doors opened again and another member came in and fell on Seta's neck, sobbing.

"Oh it's been awful Seta-kun! Just awful! Days of wandering around in forests, no running water, no fresh food, and no hair gel! I was locked in the house of that awful Hiko character and all the supplies he had was cans of franks 'n' beans and jugs of sake! If I ever see another can of franks 'n' beans again I'm going to scream!" Kamatari struggled to make himself coherent between sobs and he began to moan as a familiar scent drifted to him, "No…no…it's not possible!"

He started to scream hysterically as Cho walked into the room, eating franks 'n' beans out of a can, "What's wrong with Kamatari?" he asked between mouthfuls.

"Who knows who cares?" Henya growled as he stalked into the room, "I've got more important things to worry about like the fact that I found that little servant girl who ran away from here and I almost had her convinced to come back when some little boy came running in and beat me! But I'll get back at him, just watch."

"You think that's embarrassing? I've had worse. I found this shrine in the middle of the forest and it had three beautiful swords in it. I almost had them when three gigantic people came out of nowhere and attacked me. I lost the swords and on top of that some other idiot came in and started calling me a broomhead! Can you imagine that?" Cho took another bite of his meal, "And then they all laughed at my name! It was awful."

"It couldn't have been as awful being trapped in a confined space for a hundred years." A menacing voice said.

"Usui-san, you're out of the lamp!" Seta said happily as he turned to face the new comer.

"I wish. Actually I'm only a parole and I had to bring my parole officer with me. He's a sticker for the law, and a werewolf to boot."

"And if you ever break your parole, the very first moon afterwards I'll eat you." Anji walked up behind Usui, who flinched.

"Well it's nice to know that at least your parole officer is fair." Seta said with a smile.

Usui's reply was drowned out as a large, stupid looking person walked in, "Huhuhuh…hi!" he said stupidly.

"Hello Iwanbo how's your counseling going?" Seta asked polity, he was the only one to have met all of the Juppongata except for Shishio and Yumi.

"Huhuhuh…I'm going to be a real boy soon. That's what the nice lady says anyway."

"That's good to know." Seta smiled widely.

"Huhuhuh….yep!"

"Fuji! Dang it Fuji you're dropping me!" A shrill voice yelled from outside of the fortress and Seta cautiously opened the window to see what was going on.

The last two members of the Juppongatana were standing there, Suchzi and his partner Fuji. Suchzi was clinging to the edge of Hoji's hand and slipping, "If I fall and die Fuji what will you do? I saved you, now save me!"

As he spoke he slipped and began to fall. Fuji, seeing his partner falling, immediately began to try to catch him, twisting in an effort to get below the fast falling man.

With an effort he caught Suchzi in his hand and looked towards the window where Seta was applauding.

"Well done Fuji-san! Very well done! Are you all right Suchzi-san?" Seta called out.

"Yes, yes I'm fine. Are we late for the meeting?"

"No, it's starting right know. Fuji can listen from outside of the window seeing as he can't fit in here."

Suchzi hurried inside and Fuji nodded to Seta, "Thank you for leaving the window open for me, Seta-san."

"Don't mention it, you're a member of the Juppongatana too and you deserve to know what's going on just like the rest of us." Seta nodded and turned his attention back to the back of the room where Shishio was standing.

"Now, my Juppongatana, you've come here from far and wide. You've all heard of the Himura Kenshin and his friends, some of you have even crossed blades…or words with them already. But now I'm going to tell you that that man and his companions are the biggest threat we face right now. They are on a mission from King Okubo, determined to dethrone me!"

"What? Dethrone you Shishio-sama? I find that hard to believe!" Kamatari piped up.

"It's true but never fear. I have a cunning plan to stop him. I can't tell you what the plan is because then you might try to sabotage it but trust me, its cunning."

"Oh we trust you Shishio-sama!" Hoji yelled loudly, "And we'll do whatever you order us to do!"

"That's comforting to know," Shishio said dryly but he allowed himself a smile, 'Himura Kenshin, you might as well give up now. My group, through insane, can beat yours any day.'

And he began to chuckle slowly. Once he was done with Kenshin and his friends nothing wouldn't stand between him and King Okubo's country. It would be a sweet victory indeed, made sweeter by the fact that they made really good coffee in that country.


	10. Chapter 10: The Aoiya

**Disclaimer: **Nope…still own nada….

**Author's Note: **Onward with the insanity! Now we're starting to begin to formulate the climax of this story despite how things may appear. Hang on; it might be a bouncy ride! Red and Review if you liked this chapter but Flames will be ignored!

**Chapter 10: The Aoiya**

"Well Himura, miracles do happen." Saitou said dryly as he looked around the streets of Kyoto.

Kenshin had misread the directions given to them by Hoji, but somehow they had arrived in Kyoto after two days of mindless wandering.

"We've reached Kyoto Shinomori-san, will you and your friends be off now?" Kenshin asked slowly.

"Not yet. Our agreement was that once you and your companions were safely at your destination then my men and I would leave. Once we've reached this Aoiya place then my men and I _will_ leave."

"Very well," Kenshin looked at the streets that surrounded them and randomly chose one, hoping it was going in the right direction.

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"Misao-chan, do not start complaining about your upcoming marriage again, at least not to us! If you have to gripe, go gripe to a plant or a pot of tea or some random person walking down the street but not to us! We do not want to hear it!"

"But Okon…" Misao crossed her arms and pouted slightly to herself. She wasn't _griping_, she was _angsting_ and what good was angsting if no one would listen?!

Her gaze wandered to the window and she caught sight of a red haired man walking down the street, 'Perfect,' she thought slyly.

She dashed out of the Aoiya and grabbed the man by the front of his shirt, "My life's awful, just awful! I'm being forced to do terrible things against my will and I've no way out. There's no escape and I can't run away but it's so awful I don't want to face it anymore. I might have to take up drinking! In fact I think I will!"

Kenshin was being shaken around by this strange girl but he was still concerned about what she was saying, "Who is making you do what?" he managed to ask.

"I can't tell you who they are but let me tell you that these are terrible, terrible things they're making me do. They're so awful I don't want to speak of them!" Misao shouted, not noticing the other ninjas who had come out of the Aoiya to find out what the commotion was.

Kenshin had seen them though and he thought he had figured out what this girl's problem was, "Are you a slave? Are these people behind you you're masters? If they are and if they're mistreating you my friends and I can help."

Misao blinked in surprise, "Slave? What are you talking about?" she dropped Kenshin on the ground and spun around to see who was behind her, "These guys?" she pointed at the ninjas and Kenshin nodded.

"You've got it all wrong! These guys aren't my masters, I'm they're boss." As she spoke she caught sight of Aoshi, "But if being a slave who needs rescuing means I get to come with you guys then I need to be rescued okay?"

Misao leaned closer to Kenshin, "By the way, who's your really sexy friend with the white trench coat?"

"That's Shinomori Aoshi, why?" Kenshin asked nervously.

Misao's face turned upwards into a delighted grin and she looked towards Aoshi, "Are you Shinomori Aoshi? _The_ Shinomori Aoshi?"

Aoshi was getting uncomfortable, "Yes I am. Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, no, no, actually there's something really great about that because I'm Makimachi Misao! The arranged marriage, remember?"

Aoshi's face fell a fraction of an inch, "Oh."

Beshimi chuckled under his breath, "The boss got a weird one." The other members nodded in argument.

Misao suddenly slapped herself in the forehead, "Where are my manners? Everyone, inside the Aoiya!"

It was Kenshin's turn to look delighted, "Is this the Aoiya? We were told to come here!"

Misao paused as she remembered something, "Wait a second…red hair… cross shaped scar on the left cheek…are you Himura Kenshin?"

"Yes I am."

Misao's grin, if possible, grew wider, "This is just great! This is fantastic in fact! I don't have to worry about my upcoming marriage anymore and I don't have to try to find you guys! Scratch that idea about taking up drinking, I don't need to anymore!"

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Once they were all seated in the Aoiya Misao sat down across from Kenshin, "Okay, our information says that you're trying to dethrone Shishio, right?"

"Correct," Kenshin nodded.

"Then we can help you. You've just made a friend of the Oniwaban 2.0. Aoshi-sama was the leader of Oniwaban 1.0 but now that we're getting married the two groups are going to merge." Misao looked adoringly at Aoshi, who shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat.

Aoshi wasn't the only one who had attracted the attention of a female ninja. Okon and Omasu, the two older ninjas who had helped train Misao, were quite taken with Hiko. He, however, was not disturbed by the attention.

"It's my turn to pour Hiko-sama some sake!" Omasu protested but Okon only grinned slyly and held the sake jug out of her reach, "You can't pour sake the same way I can." To prove her point she poured a glass for him, which he accepted.

Omasu pouted as she watched the exchange, but her expression grew scandalized as Okon poured herself a drink, "Now you're drinking with him! It's not fair!"

Okon just smiled before looking back at Hiko, "Hiko-sama obviously likes older women. Wait another ten years, maybe then you'll be attractive to him." Hiko just smiled at her as Omasu began to sulk.

"Uh…sensei maybe you shouldn't be encouraging them." Kenshin suggested looking between the sulking Omasu and the glowing Okon. Hiko glared at his pupil, "Stop being a baka, there's nothing wrong with a simple…friendship with a woman." He glanced at Okon who started to giggle.

"Still…" Kenshin stopped protesting as Hiko shoot him a dirty look, "I'm shutting up now."

"Really Ken-san are you afraid of your sensei?" Megumi coolly suggested.

"Shut up Megumi! Kenshin's not afraid of anything or anyone! And he's not interested in a vixen like you!" Kaoru shouted, her face growing red.

"That may be so but I'm also sure that he's not interested in a sweaty little girl like you." Megumi smirked.

Yahiko sighed and looked from Kaoru and Megumi arguing over Kenshin to Okon and Omasu trying to get Hiko's attention to Misao gazing at Aoshi, "It's like there's some kind of love potion in the air that's making everyone act weird. At least you're still normal Sano." He looked at Sano who was staring at Megumi, completely oblivious to the other people in the room.

"Maybe I was wrong." Yahiko dropped his chin in his hands. 'At least Tsubame isn't here. She wouldn't like these guys.' Yahiko allowed thoughts of the little waitress to flirt through his mind before suddenly sitting upright, 'Ugh, whatever's affecting everyone else's gotten to me too!'

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"So Shishio-san, what's the first step of our plan?" Seta asked, looking up from the book he was reading.

"I can't tell you that yet." Shishio looked at his second in command for a moment, "Soujirou, what are you doing?"

"Homework." The Tenken smiled and returned to his studies.

"Ah." Shishio returned to his contemplation of the far wall before suddenly sitting upright, "Hoji! Where are you?"

"Coming Shishio-sama!" Hoji ran into the room and bowed, "What can I do for you Shishio-sama?"

Shishio and Seta stared at the vampire.

"What?" Hoji blinked.

Seta finally cleared his throat and gestured at his upper lip, "You have an ink mustache Hoji-san."

"Oh!" Hoji quickly cleaned the offending ink off and bowed again, "Now what do you need Shishio-sama?"

"Have you continued your studies on what the weaknesses of Kenshin and his companions are?" Shishio demanded.

"Almost. I've discovered that Saitou Hajime has a weakness for tobacco and plain soba, Sagara Sanosuke…well we haven't found his yet so I'm forming a committee to discuss that subject. Kamiya Kaoru's been cursed by Yumi-sama so she might be coming here to break the spell, and you'll find this last one interesting. We've discovered who Hiko Seijurou's true love is. It's a ninja named Okina…" Hoji glared at his notes, "Okay, which wise guy wrote Okina on my notes? The girl's name is Omasu you idiots!"

Hoji took a deep breath, "I apologize for my outburst Shishio-sama, the ninja's name is Omasu. She lives at the Aoiya in Kyoto and tomorrow she'll be out shopping alone. I can send Cho and Henya to capture her."

"Brilliant Hoji, and once she's here then what?" Shishio began to rub his chin and he stared at Hoji.

Hoji pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his forehead, realizing he hadn't thought that far in advance "Well…uh…once she's here you can …uh…force her to…uh…marry you…I guess?"

Shishio shook his head, "That wouldn't work, Yumi would just kill her. Wait…Seta; do you have a girl friend?" Shishio looked over to Seta, who had been ignoring the entire conversation as he struggled with something call trigonometry, "What was that Shishio-san?"

"I asked if you had a girl friend. Do you?"

Seta grinned, "No Shishio-san, you told me that relationships could be a pain and you said that your relationship with Yumi-san was a perfect example."

"What was that Shishio-sama?" Yumi walked into the room behind Shishio and began to tap her foot.

"Nothing Yumi dear! Soujirou was just telling us if he had a girlfriend. Do you Soujirou?"

Seta could sense the dangerous tension developing between Shishio and Yumi and tried to advert it, "Um…girlfriend…nope. Never had one." He smiled and immediately returned to his studies, even starting to chew on his pencil's eraser.

"Excellent. Soujirou you're getting married!"

"What?" Seta, in his surprise bit the eraser of off his pencil and began to cough on it. Hoji patted him on the back, "It's not that awful that you have to try and commit suicide."

"I'm not trying to commit suicide; I just thought I heard Shishio-san say I was going to be getting married. Really funny joke Shishio-san." Seta gasped as he spit out the offending eraser.

"I wasn't joking Soujirou. You are going to marry this Omasu girl unless her true love shows up in time to save her from that fate."

Seta's expression went from shocked to indignant, "I don't think I'm such an awful guy to marry! I'm polite, well dressed and well spoken! Why should she consider me such a terrible person to marry?!"

"It's not that Soujirou, it's just that if you know who your true love is you'd want to marry that person instead of being forced to marry someone else."

"Oh…Okay," Seta smiled wider in confusion, "I'll take your word for that. So when's she getting here?"

"Some time tomorrow, if Cho and Henya don't screw the mission up."

"Very well, I'll go get ready." Seta stood up and walked out of the room but at the doorway he looked back, "Are you sure that this will work?"

"Of course Soujirou and don't be so upset about this. You will be helping bait that trap that will lead to this Hiko's destruction."

"That sounds good." Seta smiled and walked out of the room. Behind him he could hear Yumi yelling at Shishio. Hopefully this Hiko man would save this girl. If Yumi was any indication, marriage was a pain!


	11. Chapter 11: Screw ups, Screw Balls

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing! No Suing!

**Author's Note: **Thanks to all of you who have reviewed! The support really means a lot to me! Now sit back and prepare yourselves for the wild ride as Katsu gives Sano advice on love, Kaoru tries to kiss Kenshin and Enishi shows up again! Read and Review if you like but Flames will be laughed at!

**Chapter 11: Screw-ups and Screwballs **

The morning sun filtered through the paper walls and Kenshin closed his eyes tighter. He was awake but he didn't want to get up…not yet. Misao had insisted that they have some kind of party to celebrate…he wasn't sure what they had been celebrating but the party had still been fun.

At least until Okon and Omasu got into a fight over Hiko, Okina made a pass at Megumi and Sano punched the old man in the jaw, Saitou and Tokio got into a fight and she took his cigarettes away, and a drunken Misao tried to kiss Aoshi.

The end results where Omasu storming up to her room to cry, Okina knocked out on the floor, Saitou going to bed without having reclaimed his cigarettes, and Aoshi hiding in the kitchen. After that the party broke up and everyone went to bed.

It had been a long night and Kenshin was sure he'd be the first one up anyways so he could afford to sleep for a few more minutes.

"Kenshin! Wake up!" Kaoru's voice broke into his sleep hazed mind and he jerked up, "Kaoru-dono, are you all right?"

Kaoru's face entered his line of vision a few inches from his nose, "No I'm not all right Kenshin! I have a tail!" she wailed.

"What?" Kenshin blinked and rubbed his eyes before looking at her again, "Kaoru-dono, what are you talking about?"

Kaoru jerked away from him and ran to the center of the room, "I have a tail, see?" she spun around and sure enough, at the back of her kimono she had a raccoon tail, "I didn't change back completely from last night! What am I going to do?"

Kenshin felt his eyes grow wide, "Oh dear, this is a problem." He thought for a moment before, "I don't know what you should do; I know nothing about curses and things like that."

He paused as an idea came to him, "Maybe Katsu can help us. He might know what to do."

"You mean the antisocial mirror that hangs out with Sano?" Kaoru frowned.

"He's not antisocial…he just doesn't like people. Why don't I go find him?" Kenshin ducked out of the room before Kaoru could stop him.

With a sigh she looked back at her tail, "I suppose I could wrap my kimono over it." She tugged on her tail for a moment before closing the door. It was the best chance she had…if Yahiko saw her like this he's never stop laughing.

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Sano stepped out of the door to the backyards at the same time Megumi was passing in front of it. They both ran into each other and Megumi dropped the basket she was holding, "I'm so sorry….oh it's you." Megumi sounded slightly disappointed as she bent down to pick up the plants that had spilled out of the basket.

"You sound disappointed, were you expecting someone else?" Sano asked, handing several of the plants to her and she stuffed them in her basket, "No…yes…I'm not sure." She stammered and quickly turned to leave, "I need to go; I told Shiro and Kuro that I'd help them make breakfast."

"No need to leave so fast, are you scared of being alone with me?" Sano causally handed her the last plant, hoping that his question hadn't sounded too odd. He wanted to spend time with her alone but he didn't want her to think that he was desperate to talk to her.

"Of course I'm not afraid of being alone with you; I just have other things to do rooster head." Megumi sounded slightly scornful but her voice lowered slightly as she reached his nickname.

"Ah you probably do, a lady like you must be pretty busy." Sano ginned halfheartedly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Megumi demanded as she spun around, fire flashing in her eyes.

"Nothing, nothing! I just meant that a doctor like you probably has much more important things to do then talk to a guy like me and stuff like that." Sano trailed off and began to rub the back of his neck in an agitated manner.

Megumi mumbled under his breath and brushed past Sano, heading towards the kitchens.

Sano slumped down on the edge of the porch, "She probably has a lot of other things to do." He mumbled.

"Why don't you just tell the girl you love her and get it over with?" Katsu demanded irritably. Sano pulled the mirror from his pocket and opened it, "I can't tell her that! She'd kill me!"

"So you're just going to keep stalking her?"

"I'm not stalking her." Sano protested.

"Then why were you standing behind that door for fifteen minuets, waiting for her to walk by so you could 'run into her'?"

Sano rolled his eyes but before he could come up with a comeback he noticed something on the ground and picked it up. It was a necklace, with a broken heart pendent at the end.

"This is strange, who'd want to hang onto a broken necklace?" he muttered as he examined it. A name on the back of the pendent caught his eye, "So this is Megumi's huh?" he was going to study it further but heard someone behind him. Shoving the necklace in his pocket he turned around, "Hey Kenshin!"

Kenshin only nodded and grabbed the mirror, "Katsu you need to come with me!" he yelled as he disappeared back inside.

"That was weird." Sano muttered, "Maybe this quest is getting to him."

But it didn't bother him that Katsu was gone. Now he could talk to Megumi without an annoying and all too observant mirror along for the ride.

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Kaoru had just finished retying her obi when the door was pulled open. "What kind of pervert are you? Do you normally come running into a room were a girl is changing?" Kaoru threw her shoe at the person and stepped from behind the screen, "Ack! Kenshin, I'm so sorry!" she yelled and knelt by the rurouni's side, "Are you alright?"

Kenshin blinked his swirly eyes away and nodded, "I'm fine Kaoru-dono that I am and I found Katsu."

"Oh!" Kaoru blinked and sat back slightly.

Katsu looked up at her, "Is there something wrong here? Kenshin wasn't answering my questions."

"It's a long story…" Kaoru began.

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At the end of her story Katsu looked thoughtful for a minute before pulling up a large book that he had been keeping….somewhere.

"Here it is," Katsu pulled off the reading glasses he was wearing and looked back towards Kaoru, "There's more fine print to your curse then you realized. How long have you been cursed now?"

Kaoru counted on her fingers for a moment, "Two years, eleven months and three weeks. In seven days I'll have had it for three years."

"And that's were your problem is. It seems that if you haven't lifted the curse by the third year it becomes permanent and you'll never be able to become human again."

"What?!" Kaoru exploded.

"I said you'll never…" Katsu began but Kaoru glared at him, "I heard you the first time! Oh this is not good." She moaned before grabbing Kenshin, "I don't want to become a raccoon!"

"Calm down Kaoru-dono. We'll find a way to fix this that we will."

"May I point out that the only way to reverse your curse is by defeating the person who cursed you or by true loves first kiss?" Katsu pointed out.

"That's it!" Kaoru grabbed Kenshin's head and it was only his incredible speed that prevented Kaoru from kissing him on the lips, instead she kissed his cheek.

"Kaoru-dono, what are you doing?" Kenshin yelled, his face turning bright red. It didn't help that Katsu was snickering.

Kaoru pulled back, "Oh Kenshin…I mean…that was….really dumb…and rash…and oh I feel like an idiot….I'm going back to my room." Kaoru decided, tears welling in her eyes.

Kenshin reached up a hand to stop her, "Kaoru-dono wait." But she was already gone.

"I'd suggest that you let her calm down before you try to talk to her again." Katsu advised.

"You're right that you are." Kenshin sighed. Still he was curious, why had Kaoru kissed him? It wasn't like they were meant for each other or anything, not that he wouldn't mind that, you know. It was just that he didn't deserve her; she was too good for a man like him. He was just a wandering performer and did odd jobs for King Okubo; he didn't deserve a nice lady like Kaoru. He would just have to wait till she calmed down before he could ask her; that was all.

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Omasu huffily shoved some rice into her already full basket, 'That stupid Hiko, I don't know what I ever saw in him. He likes Okon betters anyways, just because Okon's taller then me, has nicer hair then me and her shinobi robe really shows off her legs…he's just shallow that's all.'

The early morning sun beat down on her head and she glared around the market place. She hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before and if anyone messed with her today they'd regret it.

However she had been very upset at the party the night before, maybe she should get herself something special. Just a little present to help herself cheer up a little. She looked around at some of the stalls, debating about what to buy.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't notice the two men who had paused beside her and were pretending to look at the wares in the stall.

Cho quickly glanced over the weapons that filled the stall he was in front of and suppressed a slight shudder of delight. "Man if Ah could get my hands on some of these babies…" He muttered, eyeing the swords with particular interest.

Henya elbowed him in the ribs, "Don't forget why we're here broom head." He hissed.

Cho shot him a dirty look and noticed Omasu, "Wait, she looks like the girl we were sent here to find. "

Henya elbowed him harder in the ribs, "Not so loud you baka!"

Omasu glanced over at them, "I wouldn't fight near this stall; the owner of it is a little testy sometimes." She advised, looking back at the small disk she was studying.

"We'll remember that." Cho nodded.

Omasu took one last look at the disk and sighed before walking away from the booth. Cho and Henya followed her, trying to look discreet.

Omasu was getting the feeling that she was being followed and every time she looked behind her she could see that blond haired man and his strange companion. Final she had had enough.

"Is there a reason you're following me?" she snapped, reaching for the kuni she kept in her obi.

"Uh…oh…follow…we're not following you. What could give you an idea like that?" Cho stammered and Henya slammed his forehead into his own hand.

"I don't think guys normally look at hair ribbons." Omasu pointed out.

"Good point." Cho stepped away from the booth he had been standing by and looked around sheepishly.

"So why were you following me?" Omasu asked again this time pulling out her kuni.

"Aw man, she's armed!" Cho groaned, "Guess we're going to have to do this the hard way."

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Enishi was walking through the market place when he noticed a very strange scene. A girl was running through the marketplace with two men chasing her. One of them had wild blond hair and the other had…wings?!

Enishi shook his head. Guys with wings? That was just crazy. Of course ever since Tomoe had sent him on this trip to Kyoto, without her, he had felt like he was losing his mind.

The two men had managed to chase the girl into an alley and Enishi finally walked over to see if he could help. By the time he'd reached the scene he was too late to help either side.

The guy with the wings had managed to get close enough to the girl to force something over her mouth. She struggled for a moment before going limp. The man with the wings pulled a handkerchief away and the girl raised her head slightly, her eyes looking glazed.

She saw Enishi standing in the entrance to the alley, "Quick…go to the Aioya… and tell them….everything you saw." She ordered in a faint voice before passing out.

The man with the blonde hair looked around, "Who's she talkin' too?"

Enishi decided he should leave at that point; it wasn't that he was afraid of getting into a fight with these men; it was just that he had just cleaned his sword and he really didn't want to get it dirty again. Besides he needed to find this Aioya place.

"Okay…" Enishi looked around at the streets, "Where do I go?"


	12. Chapter 12: True Love Blooms

**Disclaimer: **Hmm…I still own nothing. Wonder when that's going to change…-ponders the thought-

**Author's Note: **More madness! More Insanity! More Fairy Tales being twisted! Thanks to everyone who's been reading this chapter, I'm starting to sense that there's a climax coming to this story soon….but not yet. Read and Review if you like but no Flaming….Flaming is mean.

**Chapter 12: True Love Blooms…Among Other Things**

Breakfast was laid out in the Aoiya to a rather dismal looking crowd. The gloomy air stayed over the group gathered until someone threw open the shoji to the main room, "Hey is this where Aoiya lives?"

"Not so loud," Misao moaned, holding her head in her hands, "We're not open yet…" she stumbled to her feet and tried to move towards the main room but Kenshin stopped her, "I'll go take care of this Misao-dono. You should rest some more as that is a rather nasty hangover you have this morning."

Misao groaned and sank back onto her mat, "You're a real friend Himura." She slurred as Kenshin disappeared into the main room.

"It's you again!" Enishi and Kenshin both yelled at the same time as the recognized each other.

"What are you doing here?" Kenshin demanded.

"I was going to ask you the same question Himura." Enishi growled and pushed his glasses further up on his nose.

"I'm staying here with some friends. What are you doing here?" He repeated his question, "And it's too early for the restaurant to be open that it is."

"I was sent to deliver a message. I saw some girl getting kidnapped in the market and she told me to tell someone called 'Aoiya'. Do you know where he lives?"

"You didn't help that girl?" Kenshin yelled but Enishi shrugged, "What could I do? Anyways, if you tell me were Aoiya lives I'll leave."

"The Aoiya is a restaurant and you've found it. Now why don't you come into the back and tell us about this girl?"

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Okina eyed Enishi, "What did this girl look like?"

"Well…she had brown hair…or maybe it was black. She was wearing a pink kimono but it might have been red and I couldn't tell if she was short or tall, skinny or fat because she was bent over." Enishi explained around a mouthful of rice. He had invited himself to breakfast and Misao had been happy to give him her share.

"You're a bundle of information." Sano grumbled and Enishi glared at him, "It wasn't my fault that it was dark and I couldn't see her clearly." He protested.

Before a full argument could begin Shiro stepped into the dining room, "Has anyone seen Omasu? She said she was going to the market but she should have been back by now."

"Wait, Omasu is missing? Then she must have been the one who was kidnapped!" Misao yelled as she tried to stand again and collapsed, holding her head, "Okay that was a dumb move," she muttered.

"What are we going to do Okashira?" Shiro looked towards Misao who waved her hand in the air absently, "We should search the market place for clues starting right now. I'll lead the way." This time she managed to stand up and she even took a few steps towards the door before starting to collapse again but lucky Aoshi caught her, "You're not going anywhere Misao unless it's back to bed. You can barely stand."

"Nonsense, I'm the Okashira. I can't desert my people now." Misao protested in a feeble voice.

"Okina can handle this. Right now you are in no condition to lead anybody. Come on." He firmly placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her out of the room but everyone could hear his last muttered comment, "This is exactly why I don't drink."

Once they were gone Okina began to give orders. He split his forces into small groups and asked Sano, Megumi and Yahiko to stay behind in case Omasu came back.

"Now Yukishiro-san, show us exactly were you witnessed the kidnapping." Okina and Enishi led the group out of the Aoiya.

Sano watched them go, "I don't see why I have to stay here…" he muttered.

"They probably left me behind because they think I'm a kid or something." Yahiko grumbled.

"It doesn't matter why you were left behind. As long as you're here you can help me." Megumi stated as she gathered up the breakfast dishes.

"Help you do what?" Sano and Yahiko asked simultaneously.

"Clean up of course." Megumi shoved a stack of bowls into Sano's hands, "Yahiko, you'll find a large tub in that closet over there. Get it please."

Yahiko nodded glumly and walked over, not noticing the strange expression that was on Sano's face. If he had seen it he would have burst out laughing. Sano didn't look that upset about having to wash dishes; on the contrary he looked rather happy.

'If I can get Yahiko out of the way this could be my chance to talk to Megumi!' he thought.

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The search wore on throughout the day. Everyone looked but all they could find was Omasu's basket, which had been abandoned by the hair ribbon stand.

"This does not look good." Misao decided, sipping on the cup of green tea Aoshi had given her. He had been watching her all day and had already made her drink two pots of green tea, claiming it would help her get over her hangover.

It had worked and Misao was back in possession of her mind but what she had just learned made her wish she was drunk again, "So Omasu has been kidnapped? But by who?" she questioned.

"From the descriptions of the two men, I suspect she was kidnapped by two of the Juppongatana. A man named Cho must be one of the men but I'm unsure about the other one." Kenshin shook his head, "As too why they would kidnap Omasu-dono is beyond me."

"Well there's nothing more we can do tonight Misao. Tonight we should rest and tomorrow we'll begin to lay our plans to rescue her." Okina ordered.

"But Gramps!" Misao protested.

"No 'buts' Misao. Right now it's too late for us to do anything. Omasu can take care of herself for one night." Okina stood up stiffly, "Following my own advice I bid you all a good night."

The others waited quietly until Okina had left the room, "I don't like it but Gramps is right. As usual." Misao muttered, "I guess the only thing we can do it wait. It's almost dark already." She moodily sipped her tea before getting up, "I'm going to the kitchen."

Slowly the group dissipated for other areas of the restaurant until only Kenshin was left in the main room. It was then that he heard the noise, the sound of something being thrown towards the window.

Reacting with lightning fast reflexes he drew his sword and connected with the object. Then, to his horror, his sword broke, the upper blade spinning across the room and sticking into the wall.

The object he had hit, however, went spinning back out of the window, landing with a thud somewhere across the street.

Kenshin stared at his broken sword in disbelief, only dimly aware of the screaming that was somewhere behind him. Numbly he turned around and saw Misao jumping around, yelling.

"Someone's trying to kill me!" She glared at the sword that was stuck in the wall by her head, "Some baka through a sword in here and almost got me in the head! I was almost killed!"

Her yelling had attracted the attention of everyone in the Aoiya and they had come running in to see what was wrong.

"Misao, what happened?" Okon yelled, gripping Misao's shoulders.

"Some baka threw a sword at me!" Misao pulled away from Okon and grasped the sword that was stuck in the wall. With an effort she pulled it out and looked at the blade, "Himura? Why are you trying to kill me?" she demanded.

Kenshin's head turned towards the window where he heard two voices, "Outa, what were you doing playing ball in the street?"

The first voice belonged to an older girl but the second one definitely was that of a young boy, "Sorry Uki, it's just that Yutarou suggested that we needed bigger place to play and no one's on the street right now."

"I don't care if Yutarou suggested it or not. I want you to go there and apologize for breaking their window."

A small boy walked up to the window, "Um…I'm really sorry about breaking your window with my ball." He mumbled.

Kenshin stared at the boy, blinking in shock. A renegade ball had broken his sword? "It's all right but you really should be going home that you should. It'll be dark soon." Kenshin spoke in a perplexed voice.

The boy nodded, "Yes san!" With that he was gone.

Okon had finally managed to calm Misao down and convince her that Kenshin was not trying to kill her. She glanced over at Kenshin, "Himura-san, I trust you can get your sword fixed?"

Kenshin looked at the broken blade, "I don't know. This sword was specially made for me, so the blade is not common and it will not be easy to replace that it won't."

"That's just wonderful! I was all set to go face this Shishio guy once and for all tomorrow and you have to go break your stupid sword! I can not believe this!" Misao yelled, gesturing around her frantically.

Kenshin blushed slightly, "I uh…I need to go." He mumbled, disappearing out of the room.

Misao stared after him, "This can not be happening. I hope Omasu's all right."

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Omasu woke slowly and placed a hand to her forehead, "Ugh, I have such a headache."

She opened her eyes slightly and stared at the face above her. It was a pleasant face, blue eyes, a cute little smile, and what looked like hearts dancing around his head, "Who are you?" she asked, "I'm Omasu."

"I-I-I'm Seta Soujirou." He stammered with a blush.

Omasu could feel herself blushing in return, he really was cute.

Shishio watched the whole scene with a less then pleased expression. What had he done? Correction: what had Hoji done?

Seta had fallen for the girl the very first time he had seen her. Shishio should have seen it coming by the way Seta's eyes had widened when he had laid eyes on her. Since that moment, almost two hours ago Seta hadn't left her side. And now it looked like the girl might be falling for him too. So much for true love.

He could tell this had disaster written on it in capital letters. But it was too late to change plans now. He'd just have to wait this one out and hope for the best.

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Saitou glared at Tokio, "Damn it woman, give me back my cigarettes."

Tokio glared back, "No." With that she rolled over on her side, pretending to ignore him.

The couple was in their room, with Tokio laying down on the futon and Saitou trying to convince her to give him back his cigarettes. "Do you want to see me beg, is that it?" he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Actually that would be rather funny Hajime."

"Okay Tokio, what did I do that got you so angry? I haven't missed any of our anniversaries, I haven't missed any of the children's recitals and I've even been polite and attended some of those parties you've hosted. What have I done?"

"You've been rude, insensitive and you won't make any effort to repair our marriage."

"So you're holding my cigarettes hostage till I attend marriage counseling with you?" for possibly the first time in his life Saitou looked surprised.

"Exactly!"

Saitou groaned, "Tokio you're as bad as your mother."

Tokio rolled back around and fixed a fiery glare on him, "What is wrong with my mother Hajime?"

Without having to ask Saitou knew he had just said the wrong thing. It was going to be a very long night.

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Megumi ran her hand through the grass, muttering to herself, "It must have fallen off when I bumped into that rooster head this morning. Where is it?"

"Looking for something?"

Megumi looked up and saw Sano and Katsu, "Actually I am. I'm looking for my necklace."

"Why don't you tell her about the…" Katsu began but Sano "accidentally" dropped him, "Sorry Katsu. What's so special about this necklace?"

Megumi leaned back slightly, "Actually I'm not sure, I just know that I've had it as long as I can remember. The doctor who raised me told me that I must never ask him about its meaning but that it would be revealed in time."

"You were raised by a doctor? Didn't you have any parents?" Sano winced as the question came out, Megumi would think he was prying, she'd probably yell at him and then never speak to him again.

But that didn't happen, instead Megumi just sighed, "Well I must have had parents but I don't remember them. I was found on the doorstep of a doctor's office when I was three years old and I stayed with him for a very long time before I fell in with Kanryu. I really don't remember anything about my past before I was found."

Sano nodded, "That's an interesting story." He stuck his hand in his pocket and adopted a surprised expression, "Is this your necklace?"

"Yes! Were did you find it?" Megumi reached foreword but her hand froze at it brushed Sano's. At that moment time seemed to stop and all she could see were Sano's soft brown eyes. She leaned forward and gently kissed his lips.

Slowly he returned it and the kiss deepened.

"Eww! If you have to do it could you please do it somewhere private? I thought busu and Kenshin were bad but Sano, you're supposed to be the normal one!" Yahiko gagged.

"It's been going on for quite a while and trust me, it's been nasty." Katsu's voice was cut off as Megumi's hand reached out and slammed the lid down, "Oww." Katsu's voice was muted.

Yahiko grabbed the mirror, "Come on Katsu let's get out of here." He shuddered and disappeared into the restaurant.

Sano turned back to Megumi, "Where were we?"

Megumi leaned forward again, "I think we were here." She answered as she started kissing him again.


End file.
